


Once A King Or Queen

by Cygna_hime



Series: Restuck [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: AU, Ashen Romance, Black Romance, Flushed Romance, Galactic politics, Gen, Multi, Pale Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-12-02
Updated: 2012-04-15
Packaged: 2017-10-26 18:43:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/286641
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cygna_hime/pseuds/Cygna_hime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They beat the game, and it sends them home. They come back different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Recap

**Author's Note:**

> Beta credit to ElanorPam, without whom this would make much less sense! And isn't that a scary thought?

Once upon a time, there was a game that was not a game. Seeded into the universe at creation, it slumbered until one night twelve young trolls woke it from its dreaming and set it free. On the twelfth bilunar perigee of the sixth dark season’s equinox, character creation ended, and the game began.

In one universe string, the trolls played in haste and, though victory was in their grasp, ultimately failed to achieve it. Closed in together with no goal ahead, they fractured and splintered and shattered. The traps laid in their pasts, in their minds, were sprung all at once, and they were caught.

There was another string of ouroboros universes in which things happened differently. In that string, the trolls struggled slowly through the game, taking time (or having time demanded of them) to fix themselves as well as their worlds. Strength failed them early, so they found weakness and made strength of it. Pity and hate tore them apart and forged them back together in strange beautiful shapes. One by one they broke, and two by two they mended.

They changed.

They succeeded, creating a whole and fertile universe. As such, they unwittingly foiled the plans of a being who had molded them scrupulously for failure. His frustrated rage would be boundless; his vengeance, excruciating. His power, however, was limited in the complete game’s last moments as it had never been before. He could not bar the door to keep them from their reward.

He could, however, change where it led.

They might have escaped him, but he would see to it they got no joy of it.


	2. Recollect

carcinoGeneticist [CG]   
opened memo on board GET IN HERE BULGELICKERS AND I MEAN NOW.

CG: RATHER THAN SCURRY AROUND LIKE A BUNCH OF HEADLESS CLUCKBEASTS (AGAIN) (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE), EVERYONE GET THE FUCK IN HERE AND SAY SOMETHING TYPICALLY MORONIC SO WE KNOW YOU’RE STILL ALIVE.   
CG: OR ASK ME WHAT THE FUCK I’M GOING ON ABOUT.   
CG: REALLY I’LL TAKE EITHER.   
CG: I’D JUST LIKE TO KNOW ONE WAY OR THE OTHER IF I’M INSANE.

twinArmageddons [TA]   
responded to memo.

TA: you’ve alway2 been iin2ane, kk.   
CG: BE LESS HELPFUL, SOMEHOW. I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT.   
TA: iit’2 not ju2t you, iif that’2 what you’re worried about.   
TA: iit happened.   
TA: or at lea2t we both believe iit happened.   
CG: THAT’S SURPRISINGLY GOOD TO HEAR. ARE YOU FEELING OKAY?   
CG: IF NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO JUMP IN WITH A DIFFERENT OPINION, I HEREBY DECLARE SGRUB A THING THAT HAPPENED.   
CG: UNLESS EVERYONE ELSE IS DEAD, IN WHICH CASE WHO GIVES A SHIT?

gallowsCalibrator [GC]   
responded to memo.

GC: 1M F1N3 K4RK4T   
GC: YOU C4N R3L4X NOW   
GC: B3TT3R TH4N F1N3 4CTU4LLY   
GC: L1F3 1S 4 MULT1S3NSORY BUFF3T OF WOND3RS!   
GC: 3V3RYTH1NG 1S SO…PR3C1S3!   
CG: DID I MENTION YOU IN PARTICULAR IN ANY WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM?   
CG: NO. NO, I DID NOT.   
CG: WAIT.   
CG: PRECISE?   
GC: Y3S!   
GC: 1 H4V3 4LL TH3 S3NS3S NOW!   
GC: 44444444LL OF TH3M!   
CG: OKAY, FIRST THINGS FIRST: STOP DOING THAT, IT’S ANNOYING AS FUCK.   
CG: OR AT LEAST HOLD OFF UNTIL SERKET’S HERE TO BE ANNOYED BY IT EVEN MORE, WHICH IS THE ONLY REASON I CAN STAND IT.   
CG: SECOND THINGS SECOND: ARE YOU SERIOUS?   
GC: WOULD 1 L13 TO YOU?   
CG: LET’S EVERYONE LET THAT QUESTION FLOAT GENTLY THROUGH THE INCIPISPHERE FOR A MOMENT WHILE WE BOGGLE AT THE INCREDIBLE POWERS OF WILFUL FORGETFULNESS IT IMPLIES.   
GC: BUT 1 WOULD NOT L13 TO YOU 4BOUT TH1S!   
GC: 1T 1S F4R TOO 1MPORT4NT   
GC: 4ND 4W3SOM3!   
GC: NOW 1 C4N S33 YOUR 4DOR4BL3 F4C3S 1N TH3 B3ST D3T41L!   
CG: ADORABLOODTHIRSTY.   
GC: WH4T3V3R   
CG: I SUPPOSE IT WOULD BE TOO MUCH TO HOPE FOR THAT YOU’LL STOP LICKING ME NOW THAT YOU CAN SEE ME?   
GC: DON’T B3 S1LLY K4RKL3S   
GC: YOU 4R3 TOO D3L1C1OUS TO 4PPR3C14T3 W1TH F3W3R TH4N 4LL TH3 M34NS 4T MY D1SPOS4L!   
TA: oh my gog you guy2 fliirt iin private plea2e. plea2e for the 2ake of my abu2ed vomiitchute.

apocalypseArisen [AA]   
responded to memo.

AA: hi!   
TA: aa!   
TA: are you okay?   
AA: i am completely okay!   
AA: and most definitely alive   
AA: it looks like im not god tier anymore though   
AA: boo   
TA: ii’m 2orry, aa.   
AA: no apologizing   
AA: it is a rule   
AA: and you have nothing to apologize for   
AA: just being alive is pretty great   
AA: though   
AA: um   
AA: im at my hive   
AA: and its still in ruins   
AA: and most of my stuff is gone   
TA: ii’m really 2orry.   
AA: stop that!   
AA: i hate it when you apologize for everything   
AA: and i cant smack you from here   
TA: all part of the plan.   
TA: iif you wanna come cra2h here, iit’2 pretty 2hitty but there’2 a roof.   
CG: ARADIA, SIT TIGHT FOR NOW IF YOU’RE NOT IN ANY IMMEDIATE DANGER. WE’LL DEAL WITH YOUR HIVE ONCE EVERYONE’S CHECKED IN, WHERE BY EVERYONE I MOSTLY MEAN THE PEOPLE WITH MORE DIGITS IN THEIR ALLOWANCES THAN THEY HAVE NEUROTRANSMITTERS.   
CG: IF THEY’D GET ON THEIR FUCKING HUSKTOPS SOMETIME THIS PERIGEE, THAT’D BE ACES.

caligulasAquarium [CA]   
responded to memo.

CA: yeah yeah im here the party can start   
TA: oh, look, iit’2 you.   
TA: hello, you.   
CA: anyone heard from fef   
TA: ii’m glad two 2ee you’re alive two, eriidan.   
CA: wwhatevver   
CA: seariously do you know if shes ok   
TA: 2he ii2n’t onliine, whiich you’d know iif you bothered to read the away messages, diip2hiit.   
TA: rtfm, biitch.   
CG: SHE HASN’T CHECKED IN, LIKE HALF OF YOU DISTRACTABARKBEASTS, BECAUSE YOU’RE ALL SECRETLY GRUBS AND LISTENING IS HARD.   
CG: I’M SURE SHE’S JUST OFF HAVING A SINGALONG WITH THE HORRORTERRORS.   
CG: AGAIN.   
CG: SHE’LL GET BACK TO YOU WHEN SHE WAKES UP.   
CA: shes alwways awwake by this time a evvenin   
CG: CAN YOU BE MORE OF A CREEPY STALKER? IS THAT A THING THAT IS POSSIBLE?   
CA: shut up   
CA: somefin just doesnt feel right   
CA: im goin to look for her   
CA: if she didnt turn on her husktop ill krill her   
TA: iif 2he diidnt turn on her hu2ktop ii won’t 2top you.   
TA: don’t diie.   
AA: this is a no dying zone   
AA: by order   
CA: not plannin on it   
CA: goin under

caligulasAquarium [CA]   
ceased responding to memo.

CG: HE’LL BE FINE.   
CG: THERE’S NO MARAUDING HORDE OF ANGELS UNDER THE SEA FOR HIM TO AGGRO SO THEY SPEND THE NEXT THREE LUNAR CYCLES TRYING TO GET UP HIS SEEDFLAP.   
CG: AS FAR AS I KNOW, THE ONLY THING HE HAS TO FEAR IS THE TENDER EMBRACE OF GL’BGOLYB, WHO UNDOUBTEDLY ONLY WISHES TO TAKE HIM IN HER TENTACLES AND RAVISH HIM AS TENDERLY AS THE EMISSARY FROM OCEANS-TROLL-WAS-NOT-MEANT-TO-KNOW CAN.   
GC: Y3UGH   
CG: YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK I’LL SHUT UP NOW.   
TA: that’2 a fiir2t.   
CG: FUCK YOU, CAPTOR.   
TA: thank2 for tryiing anyway, kk.   
TA: ii mean ii don’t beliieve you, but thank2.   
AA: hell be fine   
AA: we were all clobbering horrorterror imps by the end   
AA: whats he going to meet thats worse than that?   
TA: 2top that.   
TA: 2top actiing liike everythiing’2 goiing to be okay.   
TA: there’2 a priice two everythiing iin thii2 2tupiid uniiver2e don’t you get iit?   
TA: diidn’t the game teach you anythiing?   
TA: welcome back two alterniia leave your future at the door.   
AA: dont talk like that!   
AA: we won didnt we   
AA: without having to lose   
AA: so stop acting like its a horrible burden to be alive!   
CG: OH, NOW ERIDAN’S UNREACHABLE. OF FUCKING COURSE.   
CG: HIS SENSE OF TIMING CONTINUALLY ASTOUNDS ME WITH HOW BAD IT IS.    
GC: 1T COULD B3 WORS3!   
TA: iit’2 liike you don’t even remember that thii2 ii2 where you died and we all fucked everythiing up that could po22iibly be fucked.   
CG: HOW COULD IT   
CG: OH GOG DON’T REMIND ME.   
GC: H3H3H3H3H3   
TA: diid you trade your memoriie2 for tho2e wiing2 or 2ome 2hiit?   
TA: oh waiit, you don’t have them anymore, 2o that can’t be iit, becau2e there’2 no way you could’ve been cheated.   
AA: sollux!!   
CG: PLEASE, IF YOU EVER PITIED ME, LET THAT MEMORY GO TO THE SHITPILE TO BE TURNED INTO MEMETIC COMPOST AND FERTILIZE THE NEURALCEPTOR FIELDS, AND SO SOMEHOW GIVE BACK SOME OF ITS TOTAL NET SHITTINESS TO THE WORLD IN A MORE BENIGN FORM.   
AA: im sorry im not doomed or dead anymore!   
AA: does that make you happy to hear?   
CG: BOTH OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP.   
CG: OR TAKE IT TO A PRIVATE CHAT WHERE YOU CAN CYBERHATEMAKEOUT TO YOUR SPADES’ CONTENT.   
CG: OR WHATEVER.   
CG: I DON’T EVEN CARE, AS LONG AS I DON’T HAVE TO READ IT.   
CG: YOU ARE MAKING MY OCULAR SPHERES HURT WITH HOW DUMB YOU ARE.   
AA: sorry   
TA: 2orry, kk.   
CG: THANK YOU.   
CG: FUCK.   
CG: I DON’T KNOW WHY I BOTHER SOMETIMES.   
GC: B3C4US3 YOU C444R3!   
GC: 1T’S SW33T   
GC: L1K3 YOU   
GC: >:]   
GC: > :]   
GC: >:]   
GC: > :]   
CG: AND YOU’RE HORRIBLE.

adiosToreador [AT]   
responded to memo.

AT: uHH, i THOUGHT i SHOULD SAY, tHAT i’M HERE, aND ALSO ALIVE,   
AT: bUT ALSO, tHAT MY LEGS ARE FINE AND MADE OF FLESH, wHICH KIND OF WORRIES ME,   
AT: nOT IN THE BAD WAY, bUT IN THE, tHIS IS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE, aND ALSO MAKES NO SENSE, kIND OF WAY,   
AT: mY HAVING LEGS MADE OF ROBOTS, wAS IN FACT A THING THAT HAPPENED, rIGHT?   
CG: YEAH, IT WAS.   
CG: YOU’RE NOT CRAZY.   
CG: OR ELSE WE’RE ALL CRAZY.   
CG: I CAN’T REALLY DECIDE WHICH IS MORE LIKELY.   
GC: 1 DON’T KNOW 4BOUT YOU BUT 1 4M 4 MOD3L OF S4N1TY 4ND D3CORUM   
GC: M4D3 YOU L4UGH! 1 W1N!   
CG: DID NOT.   
CG: HOW WOULD YOU EVEN KNOW, ANYWAY?   
GC: 1 KNOW   
GC: 1 4LW4YS KNOW   
TA: yeah, we’re 2o 2ane.   
AT: sO, iF i SAID THAT THE ROBOTIC LEGS, wHICH i REMEMBER BEING MINE, aRE LYING IN MY RECUPERACOON, aS IF THEY FELL OFF WHEN MY LEGS GREW BACK, oR SIMILAR,,,   
CG: I WOULD SAY GOOD FOR YOU AND DON’T AS YOU VALUE YOUR BULGEPLATE IMPLY THAT YOU’D LIKE THEM ATTACHED AGAIN, ESPECIALLY WHERE KANAYA MIGHT HEAR YOU.

grimAuxiliatrix [GA]   
responded to memo.

GA: I Suspect That I Should Be Either Offended Or Obscurely Flattered   
GA: Which Is It Do You Think   
AA: if it helps that was a very neat bisection   
AA: the tidiest ive ever seen!   
TA: becau2e you’ve 2een 2o many.   
GA: Thank You Aradia   
GA: That Does Indeed Sound Like A Compliment   
GA: If The Bisection In Question Did In Fact Take Place   
GA: My Hive Appears Remarkably Pristine Considering The State I Last Recall It Being In   
GA: Oh My   
GA: Also My Lusus Is Outside   
GA: I Had Not Remarked This Previously   
CG: HOLY FUCK!   
CG: I THOUGHT THE NOISES FROM DOWNSTAIRS WERE MY IMAGINATION.   
CG: BRB.   
CG: NOBODY DIE IN THE NEXT FIVE MINUTES.   
CG: THAT’S AN ORDER.

carcinoGeneticist [CG]   
ceased responding to memo.

GC: TH1S C4LLS FOR 4N 1NV3ST1G4T1ON!

gallowsCalibrator [GC]   
ceased responding to memo.

AT: tINKERBULL?   
AT: tINKERBULL!   
AA: no such luck here im afraid   
TA: ii guess your lu2u2 diied two long before the game.   
TA: ...2orry.   
AA: no apologies!   
AA: again   
AA: tsk

carcinoGeneticist [CG]   
responded to memo.

CG: YEAH, HE’S DOWN THERE WHINING FOR FOOD AGAIN ALRIGHT, JUST LIKE NOTHING EVER HAPPENED.   
CG: I DON’T THINK HE EVEN REMEMBERS BEING DEAD, NOT THAT I CAN REALLY TELL.   
TA: thii2 ii2n’t how iit wa2 2uppo2ed two happen   
AA: how it was supposed to happen sucked   
AA: and most of us died   
AA: and you died   
AA: a lot   
TA: that’2 true. ii gue22 thii2 ii2n’t 2o bad iif iit’2 not a triick.   
TA: ii do 2tiill thiink iit ii2, though.   
AA: noted

centaursTesticle [CT]   
responded to memo.

CT: D --> My lusus is also alive and well   
CT: D --> As am I obviously   
CT: D --> I am pleased to see that you are likewise   
CG: THIS IS NOT A FUCKING TEAFENESTRATION PARTY. STUPID SMALL TALK IS NOT AN IMPORTANT PART OF THE EXPERIENCE.   
CT: D --> I was not talking to you   
TA: tell aa 2he’2 beiing 2tupiidly optiimii2tic about thii2 whole thiing.   
AA: i am not!   
AA: you just have something against being happy   
CT: D --> Is it permitted for me to abstain   
CG: YES. YES, IT IS ABSOLUTELY PERMITTED. IN FACT, PLEASE DO. FUCKING HORNLICKERS, IS IT SO HARD TO STAY ON TOPIC?   
CT: D --> I was under the impression that verifying our states of health was the topic   
CT: D --> Was there some other topic of which you neglected to inform us   
CG: SHUT UP. THE TOPIC IS SHUT UP.   
CG: ALSO, HAVE YOU HEARD FROM NEPETA?   
CT: D --> Yes   
CT: D --> She should be here momentarily

arsenicCatnip [AC]   
responded to memo.

AC: :33 <*the delighted pouncebeast does a happy dance at seeing all her furriends together!  
CT: D --> Nepeta  
CT: D --> Pouncebeasts do not dance  
CT: D --> I know you know this  
AC: :33 <*this pouncebeast can dance if she wants to, so there!*  
CT: D --> That isn’t even an action  
CG: SERIOUSLY? THIS IS THE OH-HEY-WE’RE-NOT-DEAD CONVERSATION YOU WANTED TO HAVE?  
AC: :33 <hi, karkat!  
AC: :33 <*the ch33rful kitty cuddles up to karkat and purrs*  
CG: IT’S GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO, OR WHATEVER.  
TA: bluh bluh take iit to a priivate chat bluh my tender viirgiin ocular 2phere2.  
AC: :33 <bluh bluh no you  
GA: Everyone I Think Should Stay Right Here And Continue To Review Our Current Status So That We Can Develop A Plan For The Future  
AC: :33 <*that sounds good, but where have fefurry and gamz33 and vwhiskers gone, ac wonders*  
TA: ff ii2 miia. eriidan went after her. 2tupiid fii2hy douche.  
CG: I DON’T KNOW WHERE THE OTHER TWO ARE.  
CG: GAMZEE’S LOGGED ON, BUT HE’S NOT ANSWERING ME. HAS ANYONE ELSE HEARD FROM HIM?  
AT: i’M SORRY TO SAY, tHAT i HAVEN’T,  
AT: aND YOU’D BE THE FIRST PERSON HE’D TROLL, sO MAYBE, hE JUST GOT DISTRACTED BY SOMETHING,  
CG: OR MAYBE WHILE EVERYONE ELSE WOKE UP ALIVE AND MOBILE HE WOKE UP STONED OUT OF HIS GRUBCASE.  
GA: I Would Hope That This Is Not The Case  
GA: While We Can Certainly Restore Him To Sobriety The Process Was Not Particularly Pleasant For Any Of Us Gamzee Least Of All  
CG: FUCK.  
CG: WHO LIVES NEAR HIM?  
CG: ACTUALLY, FORGET THAT. WHO KNOWS WHERE HE LIVES?  
TA: hold that thought ii’m huntiing up hii2 addre22.

gallowsCalibrator [GC]   
responded to memo.

GC: SH3 H4TCH3D!   
CG: WHO DID WHAT NOW?   
GC: MY LUSUS!   
GC: SH3 W4S OUT 1N TH3 WOODS W41T1NG FOR M3 4ND TH3 4POC4LYPS3 SC4L3 W4S GON3   
GC: TH3 PLOT 1S TH1CK3N1NG MOST NOUR1SH1NGLY   
CG: OH GREAT, MORE FUCKING RIDDLES. I’D BEEN HOLDING ONTO HOPE THAT THAT WE WERE FINALLY, AFTER SUBJECTIVE SWEEPS OF TRYING TO TWIST OUR THINKPANS INTO THE PROPER GLASS SINGLE-SIDED SOLID TO EVEN UNDERSTAND THE QUESTIONS, LET ALONE ANSWER THEM, DONE WITH THIS CRYPTIC RIDDLE BULLSHIT.  
CG: IT’S OFFICIAL. SOLLUX IS RIGHT. THIS SUCKS HOOFBEAST BULGE.  
TA: you are a true friiend.  
AA: guess my expression  
AA: go on  
AA: guess

terminallyCapricious [TC]   
responded to memo.

TC: heyyyy, WHAT’S motherfucking HAPPENING?   
CG: GAMZEE!   
CG: WHAT THE FUCK TOOK YOU SO LONG, YOU COLOSSAL WASTE OF WHAT I AM ASSURED ARE PERFECTLY GOOD NEURONS?   
TC: AWWWW, i WAS worried AND shit ABOUT you TOO.   
CG: THAT’S NOT EVEN CLOSE TO THE POINT I WAS TRYING TO MAKE HERE, WHICH IS THAT YOU HAD BETTER KNOW EXACTLY WHY I AM TAKING IT UPON MYSELF TO YELL AT YOU, AND YOU HAD BETTER REMEMBER IT FOR FIVE ENTIRE MINUTES, OR I’LL COME OVER THERE AND GUT YOU.   
CG: WHEREVER YOU ARE.   
CG: SOMEHOW.   
TC: i GUESS i WAS kinda CONFUSED when I up AND woke UP like NOTHING even HAPPENED, no GAME or MOTHERFUCKING nothing, LIKE i THOUGHT maybe I’D been DREAMING a REAL long TIME and JUST was WAKING up, AND that MADE me ALL kinds OF sad TO be THINKING.   
TC: LIKE if I was JUST motherfucking DREAMING the WHOLE time THEN nobody WOULD remember MY dream BUT me.   
TC: and WHAT happened IN it AND all THE miracles I witnessed DIDN’T really HAPPEN at ALL.   
CG: YOU’RE WITHOUT A DOUBT THE SINGLE BIGGEST IDIOT I’VE EVER SEEN OR HEARD OF. LET ME REMIND YOU, SINCE APPARENTLY EVEN WHEN YOU’RE NOT RUSTING YOUR THINKPAN YOU CAN’T TELL DREAMS FROM REALITY:   
CG: ♦. FUCKASS.   
TC: ♦ RIGHT back ATCHA, my MAIN moirail.   
TA: that’2 three poiint2 to kk beiing a gro22 publiic fliirt who 2hould be le22 of a hypocriite.   
CG: SHUT YOUR NUTRITION FLAP RIGHT NOW.   
AC: :33 <*ac thinks it is apurrable!*

arachnidsGrip [AG]   
responded to memo.

AG: G8ys?   
AG: T8vr8s? K8n8y8?   
AT: aRE YOU, uHH, oKAY?   
GA: What Is It Vriska   
AG: Y8u d8n’t h8 m8, r8ght?   
GA: Vriska I Have Never Hated You Excessively   
AT: iF THIS IS ABOUT THE GAME, tHEN YOU SHOULD KNOW, wE DO ALL REMEMBER, aND HATE, iS NOT WHAT i FEEL FOR YOU, aNYMORE, oR EVER REALLY, iF YOU GET RIGHT DOWN TO IT,   
AG: Of course I w8sn’t worried a8out th8t!!!!!!!!   
AT: iF YOU INSIST,,,   
AG: Aaaaaaaanyw8y, I’ve got an itsy 8itsy pro8lem.   
CT: D --> What is it   
AG: Look out your window and you’ll see!   
CT: D --> Everything is just as   
CT: D --> Oh   
CT: D --> I see   
CG: WOULD EITHER OF YOU LIKE TO SHARE WITH THE SCHOOLFEEDMOB?   
AG: Soooooooo, my lusus might poss8ly 8e alive again.   
CG: WELL, FUCK.   
GA: I Was About To Ask If You Were Sure But In Retrospect That Would Be A Phenomenally Stupid Question Especially Considering The Presence Of A Corroborating Witness So Instead I Will Ask If She Might Not Be Improved By The Same Force Or Forces That Appears To Have For Example Replaced Tavros’s Legs And Also Healed His Spine   
AG: She’s the s8me as ever. I guess I g8ve all the luck to Tavros.   
AT: tHANKS, i GUESS, tHOUGH YOU REALLY SHOULDN’T HAVE,   
AT: i MEAN, iT’S AWESOME, hAVING MY LEGS, bUT i REALLY WOULD’VE BEEN OKAY, aND IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU MIGHT NOT BE,   
AG: I’ll 8e just fiiiiiiiine!   
GC: OH, R34LLY? 4ND W1LL YOUR 1NNOC3NT V1CT1MS B3 F1N3 TOO?   
GC: TH3 PROS3CUT1ON DOUBTS TH3 V3R4C1TY OF YOUR ST4T3M3NT   
GC: OR P3RH4PS YOUR ST8M3NT >;]   
AG: Never do th8 ag8in, Pyrope!!!!!!!!   
AG: You cr8zy 8itch!   
GC: COM1NG FROM YOU, TH4TS D4NG3ROUSLY CLOS3 TO 4 COMPL1M3NT   
CG: AS SPADEWARMING AS ALL THESE LIFE-AFFIRMING BITTER NOTHINGS ARE, TEREZI HAS A POINT.   
AG: Of course you agree with her. ;:::)   
CG: SHUT UP, NOT REMOTELY TRUE. THE POINT THAT SHE HAS IS THAT WE’RE NOT GOING TO LET YOU GO BACK TO YOUR OLD MURDEROUS WAYS. I THINK WE’VE ALL SEEN WHERE THAT LEADS.   
CG: IT’S A FUCKING STUPID, DEPRESSING PLACE, AND NONE OF US ARE GOING THERE AGAIN, NOT EVEN YOU.   
AG: I kn8w th8t! Sh8t 8p!   
AG: 8’ll t8ke c8re 8f 8t, 8k8y????????   
CT: D --> W001d you   
CT: D --> Do you require assistance   
CT: D --> Not that you aren’t perfectly capable   
CT: D --> But we have learned that the structural integrity of this cliff is not all it sh001d be   
AG: Sure, wh8ever. Go ahead if it m8kes you happy.   
AG: I don’t need help!   
CT: D --> Of course not   
CT: D --> That is in no way a point in dispute   
CT: D --> E%cuse me

centaursTesticle [CT]   
ceased responding to memo.   
arachnidsGrip [AG]   
responded to memo.

CG: IF THEY DO SOMETHING DUMB AND DIE, I WILL LAUGH AT THEM SO HARD THEY COME BACK TO LIFE OUT OF SHEER OFFENDED ARROGANCE.   
CG: THEN EVERYONE ELSE CAN YELL AT THEM, FOR I AM A BENEFICENT LEADER.   
TA: oh, yay. yelliing at 2weaty zombiie blueblood2 ii2 my favoriite thiing.   
CG: ISN’T IT?   
AA: oh   
AA: oh wow!   
TA: what ii2 iit now?   
AA: i just did the time thing!   
CG: WHAT?!   
GA: What   
GC: HMMMM   
AT: i THOUGHT THAT, aND SIMILAR THINGS, wERE NO LONGER A THING WE COULD DO?   
AA: i thought so too   
AA: because my wings are gone   
AA: but now im holding a broken old recordegg i found sweeps ago   
AA: and it looks brand new   
AA: so either i can still do the time thing or i can resurrect dead grubtech suddenly   
AA: i am the technolooter messiah   
AA: it is me   
GA: Hold On A Moment While I Verify Something   
AT: dOES THIS MAKE SENSE TO ANYONE ELSE, aT ALL?   
TC: absolutely NONE at ALL. this IS what MIRACLES are ALL about, TAVBRO.   
AT: iT IS, a PRETTY GOOD MIRACLE,   
GA: I Return   
GA: Though That May Not Be A Strictly Accurate Choice Of Verb As I Am In Fact Typing From A Small Hill Some Two Stades From My Hive   
GA: As You Can Presumably Conclude From This My Command Of Space Remains Available However I Do Feel Something Lacking In The Amount Of Power Available For The Purpose   
GA: I Would Hypothesize That Upon Our Apparent Ejection From The Game We Were Allowed To Retain The Nature If Not Necessarily The Fullest Force Of Any Abilities We Possessed Within It   
GC: L3T M3 S33!   
GC: 4S 1T W3R3   
CG: WHY AM I EXPERIENCING A SUDDEN INCREASE IN MY FOREBODING LEVELS, EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE ALREADY AT THREAT LEVEL TYRIAN?   
GC: K444RK444T! 1 C4N S33333 YOU!   
CG: OH. THAT’S WHY.   
TA: d00m agaiin, d00m agaiin, appledy-jack. voiice2 re2ume your regular 2erviice iin two...one...   
TA: huh.   
CG: IS THAT A GOOD HUH?   
CG: PLEASE BE A GOOD HUH.   
TA: ii don’t hear anythiing.   
CG: THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD HUH TO ME. UNLESS YOU’RE DEAF. ARE YOU DEAF? THAT WOULD FIGURE.   
TA: ii’m not deaf.   
AC: :33 <that’s great! i’m so happy fur you!  
TA: thank2, ii gue22...

centaursTesticle [CT]   
responded to memo.

CT: D --> The matter has been handled without incident   
AT: iS vRISKA, uHH, oKAY, iNASMUCH AS THAT IS A THING THAT SHE CAN BE, rIGHT NOW?   
CT: D --> That is not my concern   
CT: D --> But yes, I believe she is within the a%eptable range of emotional states   
CT: D --> She should return momentarily   
CT: D --> She had some clean-up she needed to take care of   
TA: iit’d be kiind of rea22uriing to hear 2omethiing riight now   
AA: and not just because you predicted it in front of all of us   
CT: D --> What is wrong   
CT: D --> I always understood the voices of the imminently deceased to plague you   
TA: yeah, but iif aa 2tiill ha2 the tiime thiing, and terezii 2tiill ha2 the miind thiing, and kanaya 2tiill ha2 the 2pace thiing, what happened to the d00m thiing?   
CT: D --> I don’t have enough information to speculate   
CT: D --> However the doom thing   
TA: d00m.   
CT: D --> Yes, the d00m thing was not restricted to the voices   
CT: D --> You may find you retain other abilities even without them   
CT: D --> And even if not, your psionic abilities sh001d remain   
TA: for all that’2 worth.   
CT: D --> I cannot help but feel that you are being e%cessively resistant to reassurance   
AA: so you noticed   
CG: TAKE IT. TO. A PRIVATE. CHAT.   
CG: OR DON’T TALK ABOUT IT AT ALL, SEE IF I CARE.   
CG: JUST DON’T MAKE US ALL WATCH YOUR QUASI-CALIGINOUS REACHAROUNDS.

arachnidsGrip [AG]   
responded to memo.

AG: Mission aaaaaaaaccomplished!   
AT: aND YOU’RE OKAY?   
AG: I’m so very okay!   
AG: 8ut we can talk a8out it l8er, if it’s that important to you.   
AT: tHAT SEEMS LIKE A GOOD IDEA TO ME, yES,   
AG: Wh8eveeeeeeeer!   
GC: 1 B3T YOUR3 4T L34ST 4 L1TTL3 S1NG3D   
GC: L3TS S33   
CG: OKAY, GOOD TO HAVE THAT OUT OF THE WAY, INSTEAD OF BEING THE GIANT SPIDERLUSUS IN THE ROOM IN A WHOLLY NON-FIGURATIVE FASHION.   
CG: NEXT ORDER OF BUSINESS:   
GC: GOGD4MM1T 3QU1US STOP DO1NG TH3 VO1D TH1NG WH3N 1M TRY1NG TO SPY ON VR1SK4!   
CT: D --> You know it is not an active choice   
CT: D --> And in any case I w001d not feel it necessary to comply, particularly for such a f001ish purpose   
CG: CAN YOU SQUABBLE JUST A LITTLE LESS AND PAY ATTENTION JUST A LITTLE MORE? FOR ONCE?   
CG: NEXT ORDER OF TAINTLICKING BUSINESS:   
CG: SO IT LOOKS LIKE WE GET TO KEEP OUR POWERS, SEE ABOVE UNDER CRYPTIC BULLSHIT AND HOW MUCH IT CHAFES MY NERVE ENDINGS LIKE A POORLY-FITTING PAIR OF PANTS CHAFES THE BULGECASE.   
CG: IF YOU THINK ABOUT IT TOO HARD, YOUR HEAD WILL EXPLODE, SO FEEL FREE, ESPECIALLY THOSE OF YOU WHO KEEP FLIRTING ON THE MEMO.   
CG: ANYWAY, RECAP HOUR OVER, WHERE THE FUCK IS FEFERI?

cuttlefishCuller [CC]   
responded to memo.

CG: SPEAK OF THE HEIRESS.   
CC: no such luck   
TA: eriidan?   
TA: 2hiit what happened two ff?   
CC: nothin   
CC: at least nothin yet   
CC: but shes busy   
CC: shes fine   
CC: but sos her lusus   
CC: gl’bgolyb is alivve an wwell   
CC: an shes gettin hungry


	3. Reassess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having arrived in their new old reality, our heroes consider the places they had waiting for them to step back into.

TA: ii told you 2o.    
CG: SOLLUX, SHUT YOUR NUTRITION ORIFICE. ERIDAN, WHAT EXACTLY IS GOING ON AND WHERE’S FEFERI?   
CC: i told you   
CC: shes wwith her lusus tryin ta calm her down   
CC: before you knoww she glubs an kills us all   
CG: SHE CAN DO THAT?   
CC: course she can   
CC: itd be pretty stupid if the empress couldnt evven hold off the glub   
GC: 1 C4N S33 H3R!   
GC: SH3 LOOKS F1N3 FOR NOW   
GC: 3R1D4N YOU 4R3 SUCH 4 DR4M4BLOOD SOM3T1M3S   
CC: yeah wwell howw long do you see it lastin if wwe dont do somefin   
GC: 1 S33333   
GC: FUCK   
GC: SOM3TH1NG’S WRONG   
GC: 1 C4NT S33 4NYTH1NG 4T 4LL!   
TA: the telliing you 2o wiill contiinue untiil further notiice.   
GA: If You Cannot Say Anything Relevant Perhaps It Would Be Best For You To Not Say Anything Whatsoever Rather Than Repeating Your Pronouncements Of Doom   
GA: Not That They Do Not Seem To Be Overall Accurate Pronouncements At This Point But I Simply Do Not Find Them Helpful In This Situation   
CT: D --> You will not speak to him in that fashion   
CG: EVERYONE SHUT UP, AND THIS TIME I REALLY MEAN IT!   
CG: WE CAN WORK ON THIS WHOLE NOT DYING THING. WE’VE GOT A LOT OF PRACTICE SO WE SHOULD BE PRETTY GOOD AT IT BY NOW.   
CG: AS MUCH AS IT FREQUENTLY SURPRISES ME TO REALIZE IT, YOU ARE ALL GENUINELY NOT TERRIBLE AT SURVIVING THE STUPID SHIT THIS STUPID UNIVERSE GETS OFF ON THROWING AT US.   
CG: DO YOU REALLY THINK ONE BARELY-HORRORTERROR IS THE EQUAL OF THE BLACK KING?   
CG: ARE YOU REALLY THAT THOUGHT-DEPRIVED?   
CG: WE CAN HANDLE THIS.   
GC: 4SK F3F3R1 HOW LONG SH3 TH1NKS W3 H4V3   
CC: got it   
CC: brb

cuttlefishCuller [CC] ceased responding to memo.

TC: you THINK we SHOULD all GET together FOR this?   
AA: sounds like a good idea to me   
GA: If We Choose A Rendezvous Point With Which I Am Familiar I Could Certainly Transport At Least Some Of Us Here Depending On The Amount Of Time I Have In Which To Do It   
AG: We should meet at my hive!   
AG: It is clearly the 8est possi8le loc8tion.   
CG: THAT’S ACTUALLY A GOOD SUGGESTION. DON’T LET IT GO TO YOUR HEAD OR YOU WON’T FIT IN THE RECUPERACOON.   
CG: DOES EVERYONE KNOW WHERE THAT IS? BEARING IN MIND THAT THE ALTERNATIVE IS FOLLOWING ONE OF TEREZI’S DELIBERATELY FUCKING TERRIBLE MAPS.   
AC: :33 < napurrally!   
TA: all your map2 are already belong two me. ...why do you liive 2o fuckiing far?

twinArmageddons [TA] posted file OodolMap2II2YourFriiend.png.

AG: To annoy you, o8viously!   
CT: D --> Aradia   
CT: D --> If you require dire%ions I can provide them   
AA: that would be helpful   
AA: the spirits dont really perceive distance like we do   
AA: and ive never been there physically   
CG: I GUESS I’M ONE OF THE ONES FLINGING MYSELF INTO KANAYA’S SPACEY EMBRACE, IN A WHOLLY FIGURATIVE AND NOT IN THE LEAST LITERAL FASHION.   
CG: NOT THAT THERE’S ANYTHING WRONG WITH YOUR EMBRACE OR ANYTHING, I’M SURE IT’S VERY PLEASANT, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK I’M GOING TO SHUT UP NOW.   
GC: TH4T’S 4 F1RST!   
GC: 1 W1LL NOT B3 N33D1NG TR4NSPORT FOR 1 W1LL B3 D3SC3ND1NG UPON YOU FROM TH3 SKY W1TH TH3 41D OF 4 M4J3ST1C DR4GON   
GC: TRY NOT TO D13 OF J34LOUSY   
AG: 8luh 8luh huge flame8reathing 8itch.   
AC: :33 < *ac can get there by herself too*   
AC: :33 < *ga doesn’t n33d to worry*   
CT: D --> Nepeta are you sure   
CT: D --> Perhaps it w001d be best to be more cautious   
CT: D --> The wilderness is savage and dangerous   
AC: :33 < so am i savage and dangerous, rawrr!   
AC: :33 < and i know the way just fine too   
AC: :33 < it’s not like ive never done it befur!   
CT: D --> I recall   
CT: D --> You were nearly eaten by a leonine wingbeast   
AC: :XX < shoosh!   
CG: EQUIUS, QUIT THE HOVERBEAST ACT. SHE’LL BE FINE.   
CT: D --> If you insist   
CG: I DON’T THINK IT’S FUCKING NECESSARY TO INSIST. OH NO, SHE’S GOING TO WALK THROUGH THE WOODS. THEY MIGHT BE FULL OF ENEMIES!   
CG: IT’S NOT LIKE SHE’S EVER SEEN THOSE BEFORE!   
CG: AM I GOING TO HAVE TO GO OVER THIS POINT WITH EVERYONE SEPARATELY BEFORE IT SINKS IN? IS THAT A THING THAT IS GOING TO HAVE TO HAPPEN?   
CG: IF SO, SOMEONE PLEASE CULL ME QUICKLY AND SPARE ME THE PAIN.   
AT: uMMM, dISREGARDING THAT, wHICH i THINK WE CAN ALL AGREE ISN’T GOING TO BE NECESSARY, i THINK i CAN GET TO vRISKA’S HIVE TONIGHT, iF i START SOON,   
AT: aND ALSO IF THE THUNDERSCALEBEAST, tHAT LIVES NEARBY, fEELS LIKE GOING FOR A TRIP, wHICH IS LIKELY,   
AG: Awesome!!!!!!!!   
AG: What are you w8ing for?   
CG: WHOA WHOA, HOLD YOUR HOOFBEASTS. WE’RE GOING TO SET A NEW RECORD ON NOT ALL WANDERING OFF IN DIFFERENT DIRECTIONS IN QUEST OF NEW AND DISGUSTING MASTURBATORY AIDS. THIS IS AN ORGY, AND FOR ONCE WE’RE ALL GOING TO BE IN THE SAME QUADRANT WITH ENOUGH BUCKETS FOR EVERYONE.   
TA: gro22, kk.   
CG: YOU’RE WELCOME.   
CG: ANYWAY, MY POINT WAS THAT NO ONE IS LEAVING UNTIL WE HAVE A BETTER IDEA OF WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON AND WHAT SHIT WE’RE GOING TO NEED.   
TA: on that note, ii can get there before dawn, iin only a few hour2 iif ii pu2h iit, but ii won’t liike any of you when ii get there.   
AG: As opposed to when?   
TA: biite me, spiiderbiitch.   
CT: D --> I will have your tea on hand   
TA: you, ii liike. ii may even 2tiill liike you after two hour2 of hiighgrade p2iioniic2.   
CT: D --> I’m flattered   
AA: ive got all the time i need obviously!   
AA: and it looks pretty easy to find from where i am   
AA: so no problems here!   
TC: right SO if I read THIS miracle WORLDPAINTING right IT’S not TOO far FROM here TO there AS you GO.   
TC: i'll BE setting MY feet ON the SUNGPATHS and GETTING my WANDER on.   
CG: OH, HELLS TO THE NO.   
CG: YOU’RE STAYING RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE UNTIL KANAYA COMES AND GETS YOU, IS WHAT YOU’RE DOING.   
TC: NOW that’s JUST no KIND of FAIR at ALL, when WEREN’T you ALL insistent THAT nepsis COULD do JUST that THING?   
CG: I WAS SAYING THAT SOMEONE WHO WAS USED TO THE ENVIRONMENT AND KNEW EXACTLY WHERE THEY WERE GOING COULD TAKE A HIKE THROUGH THE WOODS.   
CG: YOU ARE NEITHER OF THESE THINGS, IN CASE IT SLIPPED YOUR MEMORY.   
AT: i THINK, kARKAT HAS A GOOD POINT, fOR WHAT THAT’S WORTH,   
AT: i WOULDN’T WANT ANYTHING TO HAPPEN, tO YOU,   
TC: well SINCE both OF you ARE so MOTHERFUCKING insistent, I guess I don’t HAVE much IN the LINE of CHOICE, now DO i?   
CG: NO. NO, YOU DON’T.   
GC: TH4T 1S 3V3RYON3   
GC: 3XC3PT TH3 S34DW3LL3RS OF COURS3   
GC: BUT TH3Y W1LL B3 4BL3 TO G3T TH3R3 OR NOT B4S3D ON OTH3R F4CTORS

cuttlefishCuller [CC] responded to memo.

CC: )(ey, everyone!   
TA: ff!   
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON DOWN THERE?   
TA: and where’2 ed?   
CC: )(e’s around.   
CC: )(e was being a sillyfis)(.   
TA: what diid you do?   
CC: I didn’t do anyt)(ing! )(e’s just panicking over not)(ing!   
CC: It’s knots as bad as )(e made it out to B---E!   
GC: SO TH3 R1FTS C4RBUNCL3 W4S NOT ON TH3 V3RG3 OF K1LL1NG 4LL OF TROLLK1ND?   
CC: …W)(ale…But I clammed )(er rig)(t down!   
CC: S)(e didn’t reelly M---EAN it!   
CC: S)(e was just surprised! And a little )(ungry, but s)(e understands now t)(at I didn’t do it on porpoise!   
CG: OH, GREAT. AS LONG AS SHE DIDN’T MEAN TO NEARLY KILL US ALL, IT’S OKAY.   
CG: SO HOW MUCH TIME DO WE HAVE BEFORE ONE OR BOTH OF YOU FALLS OFF THE TROLL-ORPHANING WAGON?   
CC: …   
CC: Not t)(at long.   
CC: S)(e’s proud of me, so s)(e’ll be patient, but s)(e can’t keep from getting )(ungry.   
CG: AND OF COURSE NOT WHINING FOR FOOD, COINCIDENTALLY CAUSING MASS SLAUGHTER IN THE PROCESS, WOULD BE TOO PLEBIAN.   
CG: I’M SORRY, I SHOULDN’T HAVE SAID THAT.   
CG: I’M SUCH AN ASSHOLE.   
AC: :33 < *ac disagr33s*   
CG: YOU’RE BIASED AND POSSIBLY DELUSIONAL.   
GC: WHO D13D 4ND M4D3 YOU TYR4NT?   
GC: TH3 COURT DO3S NOT R3COGN1Z3 YOUR 4UTHOR1TY!   
GC: SO H3R3 1S TH3 PL4N   
GC: 3V3RYON3 P4CK 4S MUCH 4S YOU C4N 4ND GO TO VR1SK4S   
GC: DO NOT 4SSUM3 YOU W1LL B3 4BL3 TO COM3 B4CK FOR 4NYTH1NG 4T 4LL FOR 4 V3RY LONG T1M3   
GC: W3 W1LL D1SCUSS OUR OPT1ONS 1N MOR3 D3T41L ONC3 W3 4R3 TH3R3   
CC: T)(at’s probably a good idea!   
CC: I’ll get Eridan to bring me wit)( )(im.   
TA: iit would be great iif he were not a nervou2 wreck by the tiime he arriived.   
CC: You’d )(ave to talk to )(im about t)(at!   
CC: It’s definitely not my business anymoray!   
CG: RIGHT, THAT’S IT.   
CG: THERE’S NOTHING ELSE TO TALK ABOUT HERE THAT DOESN’T BELONG IN PRIVATE CHAT.   
CG: AND NOW THAT I’M BACK IN THE LAND OF GLORIOUS, GLORIOUS MOVIE PRODUCTION AND NOT SO STARVED FOR QUALITY ENTERTAINMENT THAT I’M REDUCED TO WATCHING ALL OF YOU BEING NOOKWHIFFING FUCKHEADS AT EACH OTHER FOR MY ENTERTAINMENT, I DON’T HAVE TO PUT UP WITH IT.    
CG: EVERYBODY OUT!

carcinoGeneticist [CG] has banned apocalypseArisen [AA] from responding to memo.  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has banned gallowsCalibrator [GC] from responding to memo.  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has banned twinArmageddons [TA] from responding to memo.  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has banned grimAuxiliatrix [GA] from responding to memo.  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has banned arachnidsGrip [AG] from responding to memo.  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has banned centaursTesticle [CT] from responding to memo.  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has banned arsenicCatnip [AC] from responding to memo.  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has banned adiosToreador [AT] from responding to memo.  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has banned terminallyCapricious [TC] from responding to memo.  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has banned cuttlefishCuller [CC] from responding to memo.  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has banned caligulasAquarium [CA] from responding to memo.  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has banned himself from responding to memo.  
carcinoGeneticist [CG] has closed memo.

>Be 0kay with this.

You are ARADIA MEGIDO, and you are not 0kay with this. Since you are no longer d00med, you are instead simply okay with this! You find this a positive development.

There are, however, some things you do not find a positive development. For one, you miss your wings. You can fly without them, now that you have access to the full range of your psychic abilities, but it was easier when you were a god. Now you’re pretty sure that you’ll be tired by the time you make it to Vriska’s hive.

You can deal with that, though. It’s just a factor of this latest change in your physical nature, and those happen to everyone!

What’s really worrying you is that no matter what you told Sollux to shut him up, you aren’t really sure what’s happened or what’s going to happen. The voices of the dead are totally confused! They’re all absolutely certain that this wasn’t supposed to happen, but also that this isn’t a doomed timeline. If those things aren’t mutually exclusive, then either they’ve been lying to you all these sweeps or when you and your friends put the universe back together, it came back different, just like you. You’re not sure which is better, overall.

Now would be a great time for future you to show up and tell you what’s going on.

Or now.

Now would be good too.

You’re starting to get the feeling that future you won’t be showing up, possibly ever. Not only is she not showing up when she knows you need her, but when you try to be a future you and go tell past you about this, it doesn’t happen. It’s not the kind of sticky sensation you get when you can’t do something because you know you didn’t. Instead, it feels like you can’t do it because you just can’t. It’s like you’re not able to get knowledge ahead of any given now.

You’re not okay with this! You don’t need future you to tell you that you’re going to need every edge you can get, if everyone decides to do what you think should be done.

Maybe someone else is having better luck.

>Troll Terezi.

apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

AA: hello   
AA: i think we may have a problem   
GC: 1 TH1NK W3 M4Y H4V3 4 PLUR4L1TY OF PROBL3MS!   
GC: WH1CH ON3 D1D YOU H4V3 1N M1ND?   
AA: i havent heard from future me   
GC: DO YOU G3T TH4T F33L1NG TH4T TH3R3 4R3 4 V4ST MULT1TUD3 OF 3QU4LLY V14BL3 FUTUR3S?   
AA: yes exactly!   
AA: its all fuzzy and kind of sticky and i think im stuck!   
GC: 1 TH1NK TH3 T1M3L1N3 H4S GON3 FR4CT4L ON US   
GC: WH1CH SHOULDNT 3V3N B3 4 TH1NG!   
GC: 1 R3S3NT TH1S M1DG4M3 RUL3 CH4NG1NG   
AA: you think this is midgame?   
AA: shouldnt the game be over?   
GC: BLUH BLUH SHOULD 1S CL34RLY NOT 4 F4CTOR H3R3!   
GC: B3S1D3S 1 4LW4YS W4S PR3TTY SUR3 TH4T TH3 G4M3 W4S LONG3R TH4N 1T W4S L34D1NG US TO B3L13V3   
GC: 1T COULD B3 TH4T TH1S 4PP4R3NT SUCC3SS 1S M3R3LY USH3R1NG 1N 4 N3W ST4G3 W1TH TH3 BL4CK K1NG 4S 1TS 4NG3L   
AA: i hope not   
AA: i was enjoying being done and alive and not d00med   
GC: 1TS JUST 4 TH3ORY 4T TH1S PO1NT   
GC: 4ND NOT 3V3N TH3 MOST L1K3LY ON TH3 F4C3 OF 1T   
GC: JUST TH3 MOST D3PR3SS1NG   
AA: i think its more like were out of the game for the first time in our lives   
AA: and theres no goal anymore!   
AA: even the ghosts dont know what has to happen   
AA: because nothing does!   
GC: W3LL 1 HOP3 TH4TS TRU3   
GC: 1T WOULD D3F1N1T3LY B3 TH3 L34ST D3PR3SS1NG!   
AA: lets work for that then   
AA: game over   
AA: we win   
AA: new game?   
GC: N3W G4M3!   
GC: 4ND W3 W1LL W1N 1T NO M4TT3R HOW P4R4DOX1C4LLY UNSOUND 1T 1S!   
AA: yes!   
AA: on that note id better get going   
AA: im not sure how fast i can go anymore   
AA: or how much extra time i can give myself   
GC: R4C3 YOU TH3R3!   
AA: ill beat you you lazy cheating dragonrider   
AA: just you wait

>Be the lazy cheating dragonrider.

You are TEREZI PYROPE, and you may be a cheat, and you may be lazy, but you are not anything so childish as a dragonrider. You are a dragon’s beloved charge, and for the first time ever you are taking to the skies with her! You are the terror that flaps in the night! You are the noose that descends from above! You are really glad the only person hunting lusii around here is a friend of yours.

Learning to type while not falling off takes practice, but you are a quick learner. It is very important that you and your teammates be fully prepared before you arrive at Vriska’s hive. You don’t know this because you’ve Seen it. You just know this because being prepared is always very important!

You also know this because while you can’t See the future with any certainty, you’ve always been a good guesser. And you guess that even if Aradia is right, you have a lot of problems to deal with that aren’t caused by Sgrub.

You should probably talk about these issues with your fearless leader. He might not be aware of them, and that would be a problem! You want him to be ready to put your plan into effect as soon as you finish making it.

Also, the faces he makes are flatly adorable, and you can still See them just fine.

>Troll Karkat.

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

GC: YOU KNOW F3F3R1 1S H1D1NG SOM3TH1NG   
GC: R1GHT?   
CG: YES, THANK YOU, JUST BECAUSE I CAN’T SEE INTO PEOPLE’S SOULS DOESN’T MEAN I’M COMPLETELY INCOMPETENT.   
CG: IT DID OCCUR TO ME THAT WHEN THE CHEERIEST TROLL EVER TO BE BIRTHED FROM PARADOX SPACE’S GAPING MAW DISCOVERS THAT EVERYONE HAS SURVIVED AND THE WORLD HAS BEEN UNDESTROYED, AND YET SHE USES FEWER THAN ALL THE SHOUT POLES, THERE JUST FUCKING MIGHT BE SOMETHING SHE’S NOT TELLING US ABOUT THE SITUATION.   
GC: 1 W4S JUST CH3CK1NG!   
GC: YOU T4K3 P3OPL3 ON F41TH 4 LOT SOM3T1M3S!   
CG: I DO NOTHING OF THE KIND.   
GC: WH4T3V3R 1 DONT F33L L1K3 4RGU1NG TH1S 4G41N TON1GHT   
GC: 1M FLY1NG!   
GC: 1T 1S M34SUR4BLY TH3 B3ST TH1NG TH4T C4N B3 DON3 W1TH ON3S LUSUS PR3S3NT   
GC: YOU KNOW W3R3 GO1NG TO H4V3 TO CULL F3F3R1S LUSUS   
CG: OH, WOW, CHANGE OF SUBJECT MUCH?   
CG: LISTENING TO YOU IS LIKE RAPIDLY CHANGING CHANNELS ON AN ANTIQUE TELEVISION SHOW PROJECTION SCREEN.   
GC: 1 4M P3RF3CTLY ON TOP1C!   
GC: F3F3R1 1S H1D1NG SOM3TH1NG FROM US   
GC: TH1S SOM3TH1NG 4LMOST C3RT41NLY 1NVOLV3S H3R LUSUS S1NC3 SH3 WOULD T3LL US 4NYTH1NG 3LS3   
GC: 4ND 1F SH3S NOT T3LL1NG US, 1TS B3C4US3 SH3 KNOWS WH4T W3R3 GO1NG TO S4Y   
GC: Q3D   
CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS A ‘QED’ NO WAIT NEVER MIND THAT’S NOT THE POINT.   
CG: THE POINT IS YOU’RE RIGHT.   
CG: THE POINT IS THAT GL’BGOLYB IS WAY TOO FUCKING MUCH OF A THREAT TO EVERYONE HERE AND EVERYONE NOT HERE AS WELL.   
CG: THE POINT IS I CAN’T VERY WELL ORDER VRISKA TO CULL HER CRAZY HUGE GLOBEFONDLER OF A LUSUS AND JUST IGNORE THE EVEN CRAZIER, EVEN HUGER ONE.   
CG: THE POINT IS ALSO I HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE HOW TO PULL IT OFF.   
CG: CAN ARADIA PULL THE THOUSAND-TIMELINE ARMY AGAIN?   
GC: 1T DO3SNT LOOK L1K3 1T   
GC: W3 S33M TO B3 R3STR1CT3D TO 4CC3SS TO ON3 T1M3L1N3 ONLY   
GC: BUT TH3R3 4R3 WORK4ROUNDS!   
GC: L34V3 TH3 PL4NN1NG TO M3!   
CG: YEAH, THAT’S NOT OMINOUS OR ANYTHING.   
CG: <3   
GC: <3!

>Leave the planning to her.

You are KARKAT VANTAS, and you aren’t going to leave all the planning to Terezi, do you look like you’ve lost all desire to live? If you do that, you’ll all be dressed in bright red and babbling about JUST1C3 for the rest of your lives.

Okay, so you’re going to leave a lot of the planning to Terezi. You have been forced to grudgingly admit that she’s better at keeping track of three million different quest threads than you are. Besides, a lot of your impressive tactical genius is occupied by panicking.

You really would have been okay with never seeing Alternia again, even from a distance, and especially not as a candyblood mutant stuck with mandatory placement testing between you and a future as something other than an interesting stain on a culling fork. You’d been able to not think about it up until now, but saying good-bye to all that had been a relief, such a relief that you’d admitted to yourself that you would never have survived on Alternia, let alone been able to be the leader of anything. Past you was clearly an idiot who forgot that repression and denial exist for a reason, and now you’re stuck being doomed and knowing it.

This sucks. Suddenly it amazes you that Sollux ever got anything done if he felt half this shitty all the time. You want to curl up in a ball of indiscriminate hate in your recuperacoon and wait for the universe to go away.

Unfortunately, that’s not an option. You can’t hate indiscriminately enough when you know that somewhere out there is a troll who is bound to be getting in untold quantities of trouble without you to keep him from thinking himself into a whirlpool of cognitive disfunction.

>Troll Gamzee.

carcinoGeneticist [CG] began trolling terminallyCapricious [TC]

CG: YOU’D BETTER STILL BE IN YOUR HIVE AND NOT WANDERED OFF THANKS TO A MISGUIDED BELIEF IN YOUR OWN SENSE OF DIRECTION.   
TC: don’t GET your STRESS all UP and MOVING around, BRO.   
TC: i'm RIGHT where YOU left ME.   
TC: getting MY think ON and WAITING in THE most PATIENTEST way.   
CG: WELL…GOOD.   
CG: WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?   
TC: OH you KNOW, this THING and THAT thing AND some OF this OTHER thing WHEN it TAKES me THAT motherfucking WAY.   
TC: do YOU think WE fucked UP the GAME?   
CG: WAIT, WHAT?   
CG: WE WON THE GAME.   
CG: I THOUGHT THAT WAS PRETTY CLEAR TO EVEN THE MOST RUDIMENTARY INTELLIGENCE.   
TC: yeah BUT   
TC: we WERE supposed TO get ALL kinds OF god POWER and MAKE our MOTHERFUCKING universe ANY way WE all WERE wanting IT to MOTHERFUCKING be   
TC: AND now WE’RE back AND nothing CHANGED nohow.   
TC: :o(   
CG: I DON’T FUCKING KNOW.   
CG: I GAVE UP ON UNDERSTANDING THAT GAME BY THE FIFTH STUPID RIDDLE.   
CG: MAYBE WE WERE WRONG ABOUT THE REWARD.   
CG: MAYBE THIS IS WHAT WE WANTED OVERALL.   
TC: I don’t BELIEVE that FOR one MOTHERFUCKING minute   
TC: AND i BELIEVE a LOT of THINGS i KNOW you DON’T get YOUR faith ALL up FOR.   
TC: this AIN’T the WORLD we WANTED.   
TC: not YOU and NOT me, RIGHT, bro?   
CG: …YEAH.   
CG: JUST HANG ON FOR A LITTLE WHILE, OKAY?   
CG: KANAYA WILL COME GET YOU AND WE CAN TALK IN PERSON.   
CG: AND THEN I’LL MAKE IT BETTER SOMEHOW.   
CG: I PROMISE.   
TC: YOU don’t HAVE to BE doing THAT for JUST me.   
TC: BUT if IT makes YOU happier THEN you JUST be UP and DOING what YOUR bloodpusher SAYS you OUGHT to GO and DO.   
TC: :o)   
CG: WHATEVER.   
CG: DON’T FORGET TO PACK YOUR SHIT.   
TC: i GOTCHA.

>Forget to pack your shit.

You are GAMZEE MAKARA, and you’re not going to forget any motherfucking thing of the kind. You don’t forget shit nearly as much as Karkat thinks you do, not since the slime wore off for good and all and you remembered what you’d been forgetting. That was no kind of fun at all, but now you’ve got enough of it together to get your pale on with the best fucking moirail a motherfucker could ever ask for, so it was a miracle in the end, just one of the kind of painful miracles.

This may be another one of the painful miracles come to work its way through to wonder, but you aren’t sold on that, no way. You can’t think of any miracle being born from putting you back here in your hive that never fit right with your lusus that was there more after he died than all the time before.

Now you remember what you forgot, you don’t know how you ever lived here at all. And if you don’t matter much to the universe, there’s your palebro to think about. Knowing all the secrets there aren’t between you, you can’t see him being happy here, not for long.

You’ll smash the planet and the empire to stardust before you let it put any hurt on Karkat, when he carries so much on him already.

You can hear the palebro voice in your head like happens sometimes, telling you to warm yourself and think of something else for a bit. You figure listening is usually the right thing to do.

There’s one thing, or one person to be strictly truthful, that can always get your warm on.

>Troll Tavros.

terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling adiosToreador [AT]

TC: hey BRO, what’s UP by YOU?   
TC: you GETTING yourself INTO travelmotif YET?   
AT: nOT YET,   
AT: pACKING TOOK ME LONGER, tHAN i WAS EXPECTING,   
AT: bUT i SHOULD BE GOING SOON,   
TC: that’s COOL. i DON’T figure ON putting A whole LOT in MY sylladex THAT wasn’t THERE already, YOU follow?   
TC: ALREADY had MOST of WHAT i WANTED to HANG on TO good AND hung ON to.   
AT: tHAT’S GOOD, iN THAT IT’S LESS WORK NOW,,,   
AT: yOUR LUSUS, iSN’T AROUND OR ANYTHING, iS HE?   
TC: NAHH, but I’M sure HE’S fine AND all, WHEREVER he IS.   
TC: never REALLY saw MUCH of HIM on USUAL kinds OF days.   
TC: YOU keeping SHARP eyes ON your TINKERBULL motherfucker? DON’T want TO lose HIM in THE forest LIKE.   
AT: tINKERBULL IS FINE, aND USED TO GOING FOR RIDES, sO HE SHOULD ARRIVE WITH ME, aND YOU CAN MEET HIM, pROPERLY,   
AT: iF THAT WAS A THING, tHAT YOU WANTED TO DO,   
TC: awww MAN, you ARE too SWEET a MOTHERFUCKER to PROPERLY motherfucking EXIST.   
TC: :oD   
AT: tHAT’S GOOD, aND WE’LL BOTH BE LOOKING FORWARD TO IT, wHEN IT HAPPENS,   
AT: tHAT IS TO SAY, lATER TONIGHT,   
AT: wHEN i CAN ALSO SHOW YOU, mY LEGS WHICH ARE MINE, aND WORK IN ALL THE MOST WORKING WAYS,   
AT: aND WE CAN HAVE A SICK RAPPING SESSION,   
AT: aND MAYBE MAKE OUT, a LITTLE,   
TC: did YOU just ACTUALLY and FOR real TYPE that TO actually ME?   
AT: uHH,,,   
AT: i HAVE TO GET GOING,   
AT: sEE YOU, uHH, lATER,,,

>Have to get going.

You are TAVROS NITRAM, and while you in theory have to get going at some time in the not too distant future, you didn’t have to get going nearly as imminently as you made it sound just now. You just didn’t want to be in that conversation any more, not because of Gamzee, except actually because of Gamzee in a pretty accurate way. Because you don’t want to know what Gamzee was going to say.

You’re going to have to find out when you get to Vriska’s, unless something goes horribly wrong, which you hope it won’t. You maybe didn’t think this whole thing through.

You shouldn’t have said it in the first place. You were just feeling so good, with all your limbs working, and Tinkerbull fluttering around like nothing even happened, that you screwed your confidence to the sticking place and said something you now deeply regret having said.

You’re beginning to think the whole confidence concept is overrated.

You know you shouldn’t think this! But it seems like, for you, it tends to cause more problems than it solves. For example, if you hadn’t had a totally unjustified upsurge of confidence, you would still be thinking about plans and other important things rather than whether or not a good friend is going to want to see you in a few hours.

At least there’s someone you can talk to about this, and it will take her mind off her own problems.

>Troll Vriska.

adiosToreador [AT] began trolling arachnidsGrip [AG]

AT: vRISKA, i THINK, i MAY HAVE DONE SOMETHING STUPID, bUT POTENTIALLY CONFIDENT, tHE WAY YOU’RE ALWAYS BUGGING ME TO,   
AG: Rude!   
AG: I am not 8ugging you!   
AG: I am nudging you gently in the most 8eneficial direction!   
AT: i SEE, mY MISTAKE,   
AG: So wh8 did you do?   
AG: Did you fall and 8reak your nice new legs all by yourself?   
AT: nO, nOTHING LIKE THAT,   
AT: nOTHING TO DO WITH MY LEGS AT ALL, tHOUGH THEY ARE, vERY NICE, i THINK,   
AT: tHE THING IS, i WAS TALKING TO gAMZEE, aND i MAY HAVE, pOSSIBLY, iMPLIED THAT MAKING OUT WITH HIM, iN A MODERATELY SLOPPY FASHION, wAS A THING i WANTED TO DO,,,   
AG: A8out time!   
AG: W8. 8y ‘implied’, you mean ‘said’, right?   
AT: yEAH, pRETTY MUCH,   
AG: So what did he saaaaaaaay?   
AT: i DIDN’T, fIND OUT, eXACTLY,,,   
AG: Oh my g8d, Tavros, you are soooooooo l8me sometimes!   
AG: What have I toooooooold you a8out a8sconding?   
AT: i KNOW, bUT, i REALLY SHOULDN’T HAVE SAID THAT, oR ANYTHING OF THAT NATURE, aT THIS POINT, iN OUR FRIENDSHIP,,,   
AG: You’ve known him for sweeps!   
AG: You are so terri8le at this rom8nce stuff.   
AT: bUT, a LOT OF THAT TIME, hE WAS EATING SOPOR, aND WE AGREED, tHE TWO OF US, tO START OUR FRIENDSHIP NEW, nOW THAT HE FOCUSES BETTER, aND THINGS,   
AT: sO IT ISN’T REALLY THAT LONG, aCTUALLY,   
AG: Laaaaaaaame!   
AG: When you 8oth get here, I’m m8king you tell him for real without a8sconding like a wiggler!   
AT: i THINK WE’VE TALKED ABOUT, mAKING ME DO THINGS, aND HOW THAT’S NOT A THING, tHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING, tO YOUR FRIENDS,   
AG: I didn’t mean th8t kind of m8ke you!   
AG: I m8nt the k8nd with 8othering and fussing and m8y8e a liiiiiiiittle nagging!   
AT: oH, tHEN, i'M SORRY, tHAT i MADE AN UNWARRANTED ASSUMPTION,   
AG: You should 8e!   
AT: oKAY, i REALLY DO HAVE TO GET GOING, nOW, sO THAT YOU CAN NAG ME, lATER, bUT,   
AT: aRE YOU OKAY?   
AT: i KNOW, a LOT OF THINGS HAVE HAPPENED,,,   
AG: I’m fine!   
AG: In fact, I’ll 8e gr8 as soon as you stop 8othering and start moving!   
AT: oKAY, sEE YOU SOON,

>Be great.

You are VRISKA SERKET, and you are not, in fact, great right at the moment. Your lusus’s blood is thick and doesn’t want to come off. If you were a different person, you’d construct a guilt-ridden metaphor out of this fact, but you’re not, so you just make faces at your reflection in the ablution block mirror as you try to scrub this shit out already.

All things considered, it’s a pretty cool reflection. You have all of your limbs, and all of your eyes, and even if you don’t have wings, you still have all of your luck! And everyone else’s, too. You are indisputably the coolest troll!

You are also indisputably the troll who is going to have a whole bunch of houseguests for the first time ever without feeding them to your lusus. You are completely on top of it! Even if you’ve never done anything like it before, you will be the best hostess! The best!

You attempted to consult your most trustworthy advisor who isn’t your moirail, but Mindfang’s journal is sadly bereft of instructions on how to host a planning session with trolls who aren’t all in a quadrant with you, but who are almost certainly not going to stab you in the back, and who you’re not going to stab in the back either. You demand petulantly to know what good she is, then. She doesn’t answer.

There’s only one troll who you’re sure will have the answer to all your questions. You’re somewhat hesitant to ask her, but who knows? Maybe she’ll think it’s cute.

>Troll Kanaya.

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA]

AG: Heeeeeeeey, fussyfangs!   
AG: Got a minute?   
GA: I Do In Fact Believe I Have The Unit Of Time In Question To Spare Though If You Are Looking For A Dedicated Source Aradia Might Be A Better Long Term Supplier   
GA: That Was Intended To Be A Joke By The Way In Case That Did Not Come Across   
AG: I got it!   
AG: Your jokes need work, seriously. You ram8le all around and never g8t to the point!   
GA: If They Are Offensive To You I Wont Trouble You With Them I Know They Are Not To Your Taste   
AG: I never s8d that!   
AG: You’ll never get any 8etter if you don’t practice, right?   
AG: Anyway this is stupid. Can you give me a haaaaaaaand?   
GA: What Kind Of Upper Digital Appendage Is Required Here   
GA: I Am Afraid I Have No Physical Ones To Spare At The Moment As I Am Attempting To Work Great Magics Of Sylladex Recombination   
AG: No, nothing like th8t!   
AG: I just have a question, that’s all.   
GA: Well In That Case Go Right Ahead And Ask Whatever Is On Your Mind With The Understanding That If Your Pedal Appendage Is Inserted Too Far Down Your Digestive Tubes I Reserve The Right To Terminate The Contact Until Such Time As You Understand Why   
AG: I know I know I knoooooooow!   
AG: Soooooooo……..   
AG: What are you supposed to do when you h8ve guests?   
GA: Vriska We Are Not Guests We Are Your Friends And Have Already Seen Your Hive During The Game In Many Cases You Do Not Have To Worry   
AG: That doesn’t count!   
AG: Th8t wasn’t really my hive, just a 8ig tower that st8rted as my hive!   
AG: And I w8sn’t there at the time!   
GA: Vriska You Are Being Silly And I Believe You Know It   
GA: Have You Talked To Tavros About This   
AG: He’s 8usy doing his commune thing.   
GA: Then I Suggest That You Ask Literally Anyone Else If You Are Not Willing To Take My Reassurance That We Are Not Going To Judge You   
GA: Well Except Terezi But I Hardly Think She Counts Since She Would Judge You No Matter What You Did And Find You Wanting As You Would Find Her   
GA: Just Bear That In Mind And Perhaps Pick Up A Few Of The Caltrops I Mean Four Sided Dice That Litter Your Floor Despite My Best Efforts   
AG: Wow, that was almost mean!   
AG: Are you feeling okay?   
GA: I Am Perfectly Calm And Unworried I Assure You   
GA: Merely Vexed By Cloth Refusing To Classify Itself As Such And Become A Single Item For Captchalogue Purposes   
AG: Okaaaaaaaay.   
AG: See you l8er then!   
AG: Thanks!

>Be perfectly calm.

You are KANAYA MARYAM, and you are not perfectly calm. You are imperfectly calm, at best, if your lack of serenity is not in fact such as to disqualify it entirely. You are still considering the precise state of affairs.

You are sitting in your craftblock trying to fit everything you own onto a regrettably finite number of captchalogue cards and fretting, not so much about the captchalogue cards and their regrettable finity as about your current situation in more general terms.

During your conversation with Vriska, you were unable to ignore the clear fact that she is focusing on one problem she would not normally care about in order to distract herself from the larger issue. In your past activities as her moirail and, briefly and inadvisably, auspistice, you have observed this behavior in her many times, and no matter how un-conciliatory your feelings for were at the time or since, you still feel that you know her very well. Unfortunately, you cannot bring yourself to dismiss her worries as groundless. You are unsure how much of the change in all of you was only brought about by the destruction of Alternia, and how much will swiftly regress now that you are back, it seems, for good.

You find yourself further concerned by the number of your fellows who will be making their way overland to Vriska’s hive, exposing themselves to the very serious risk of being caught out of shelter under the brutal sun should they encounter an unexpected delay. While you are proof against the sun’s rays, they are not so fortunate.

You should probably check with them one more time, just in case. You are almost certain you can transport a few more people before exhausting yourself.

>Troll Nepeta.

grimAuxiliatrix [GA] began trolling arsenicCatnip [AC]

GA: Hello Nepeta   
AC: :33 < hello kanaya!   
AC: :33 < *ac gr33ts her friend in the traditional furshion*   
GA: Yes Well   
GA: I Will Assume That You Are Pretending To Have Pounced On Me And Move On   
GA: Are You Sure You Would Not Rather I Bring You To Vriskas Hive   
GA: I Assure You The Travel Is Quite Painless   
AC: :33 < thats really thoughtful of you!   
AC: :33 < but i will be purrfectly fine going myself ive been to equius’s hive befur like i said and nothing much happened   
AC: :33 < and that was before i was as fierce as i am now!   
GA: While I Am Sure You Are In No Danger From Animal Life I Was More Concerned By The Time And Possibility Of Being Outside At Sunup   
AC: :33 < its not that far!   
AC: :33 < and i am furry fast even if not as fast as you when you do the space thing   
AC: :33 < besides i wouldnt want to give you more to do   
AC: :33 < you do a lot for efuryone even if you dont make a big deal out of it and i k33p furgetting to tell you that i do notice and apurrciate it!   
GA: Why   
GA: Thank You Nepeta   
GA: I Dont Really Think I Do More Than Other People But Thank You For Thinking So Anyway   
AC: :33 < but you should really look out for yourself too!   
AC: :33 < youll wear yourself out and that would be terrible!   
GA: Nepeta Im Not Sure This Line Of Conversation Is Appropriate   
GA: While I Appreciate Your Concern It Is Not Necessary And Frankly Skirts The Edge Of Pale Infidelity On Your Part   
AC: :33 < thats what i mean!   
AC: :33 < you should have somebody else to tell you this kind of thing instead of me   
AC: :33 < and if it makes you f33l better i only think of you as a furiend!   
AC: :33 < just a furiend who n33ds to be meddled at sometimes the way you meddle at everyone else!   
AC: :33 < efurrybody n33ds someone to meddle with them sometimes   
GA: All The Same While I Am Flattered I Think I Would Rather Not Pursue This Line Of Inquiry   
GA: Are You Going To Let Me Bring You Via Space Thing Or Not   
AC: :33 < im already on my way in fact!   
AC: :33 < just think about what i said   
AC: :33 < *ac fl33s through the silent woods on swift but silent paws*   
GA: All Right Then   
GA: You Only Had To Say So

>Flee through the silent woods.

You are NEPETA LEIJON, and you are not fleeing, because there is nothing to flee from! You are in fact racing through the silent woods toward something rather than away from it, which makes it a completely different activity, as anyone knows.

You like running, because it gives you plenty of time to think, but on the other hand right now it gives you plenty of time to think. You’re not very fond of thinking just at the moment. All of your thoughts keep turning sad on you, and you dislike sad thoughts. They are your absolute least favorite thoughts.

You’re glad the game is over and you’re back home, of course, but you’re kind of worried all the same. You know Terezi’s worried because she doesn’t understand what happened or why, but you’re not. You’re a pouncebeast, and pouncebeasts live in what is. You’re worried because all your friends got so much happier and closer together in lots of interesting ways, but they are all much more tied to things that don’t really matter than you are, and you’re worried they’ll let that get in the way of what they want.

Like Equius. You know him best of all the trolls you could possibly know, and you know how much more fun he was after all his silly rules were gone, even if he kept trying to behave like they weren’t. You aren’t absolutely one hundred percent positive how he feels now, but you know it’s not good! And you know he’s awfully stupid about some things, and you’re dreadfully afraid he’ll let those stupid dumb rules come between him and people he cares about!

Like, maybe…you.

Just thinking that thought almost makes you trip. This cannot be allowed to stand! You can run and troll at the same time, for sure.

>Troll Equius.

arsenicCatnip [AC] began trolling centaursTesticle [CT]

AC: :33 < *ac sn33ks up on ct so quietly he doesnt notice her purresence until she decides to POUNCE!*   
CT: D --> Is there a problem   
AC: :33 < *ac just wants to purrlay is there a purroblem with that?*   
CT: D --> Sh001dn’t you have other things to attend to   
AC: :33 < *ac is doing them right now so there hah furever*   
AC: :33 < *ac sits down on cts f33t so he cant ignore her no matter what and says*   
AC: :33 < how are you f33ling?   
CT: D --> Is this really the time or place   
AC: :33 < *ac is fine with it and ct is just in his hive doing nothing*   
CT: D --> You don’t know that   
AC: :33 < am i wrong?   
CT: D --> Possibly I do not have anything particularly pressing in hand   
CT: D --> I am happy to be home of course   
AC: :33 < really really?   
CT: D --> I   
CT: D --> Well   
CT: D --> I admit it did come as something of a surprise   
CT: D --> I had presumed Alternia permanently lost and adjusted my e%pectations accordingly   
CT: D --> A readjustment period is only to be e%pected under the circumstances   
AC: :(( < readjusting what?   
CT: D --> Some of my recent behavior is not   
CT: D --> W001d not be considered   
CT: D --> A%eptable   
AC: XOO < no!   
AC: XOO < your recent behavior is fine and i dont care what your stupid stupid dumb dumb rules say i like you better and everyone likes you better and you like you better dont think i dont know!!!   
AC: XOO < and if you stop being my meowrail ill do something im not sure what but you wont like it one little bit!!   
CT: D --> Nepeta   
CT: D --> Nepeta no   
CT: D --> I w001d never   
CT: D --> I c001d never   
CT: D --> Darn it that was not what I meant at all   
CT: D --> I’m not going to stop being your moirail   
CT: D --> Unless you   
AC: :OO < no!   
AC: :33 < you just better not ever   
AC: :33 < or do something almost as stupid dumb   
CT: D --> I wasn’t planning on it   
CT: D --> I try not to behave f001ishly   
AC: :33 < yeah well youre not very good at sometimes!   
AC: :33 < h33 h33   
CT: D --> Be careful out there   
AC: :33 < i will!

>Try not to behave foolishly.

You are EQUIUS ZAHHAK, and you fail not to behave foolishly. You do not, of course, think of it this way, except in the part of you that was actually listening to Nepeta and agreeing with her. Unfortunately, that part is overruled by the part that insists this is one of those times when Nepeta simply does not understand the way the world works. Worked. Works.

You did not tell her that you have dismantled one of your robots so forcefully that it is no longer useful even as parts, possessing as it does no components that could still ever function under any circumstances. You’re somehow sure that if you told her, she would know that you’re going to ignore her advice.

You are convinced that you are about to do the right thing. This relationship was never truly viable in the long term, in any case. Any thoughts you had otherwise were clearly wishful thinking based on a situation which has now materially changed. Behaving as though the circumstances do not matter would be not only immature, but unacceptably selfish. The best thing for all concerned is to remove yourself from the relationship and allow troll serendipity to resume its uninterrupted course.

Not that you should be prioritizing anyone else’s best interests. They are lowbloods, entirely unworthy of your consideration. You have only been fooling yourself if you believe that you could truly pity or hate either of them. The twisting feeling in your gut at what you are about to do is irrelevant.

>Troll Sollux.

centaursTesticle [CT] began trolling twinArmageddons [TA]

CT: D --> Sollux   
TA: what ii2 iit now?   
TA: you do realiize ii’m a liitle bu2y wiith the flyiing thiing here riight iit’2 not liike p2iioniic2 work them2elve2.   
CT: D --> I realize this   
CT: D --> However   
CT: D --> The matter I wish to di%uss will not wait   
TA: okay, fiine. ii’ll biite.   
TA: what’2 2o iimportant 2uddenly?   
CT: D --> Relations between us were an error   
CT: D --> I am terminating them   
TA: what   
TA: the   
TA: fuck?!   
TA: what the fuck ii2 wrong wiith you pulliing 2hiit liike thii2   
TA: ii almo2t cra2hed you a22hole that’2 not funny   
CT: D --> No humor was intended   
CT: D --> I am entirely serious   
TA: you are entirely 2eriiou2ly 2hiittiing me.   
TA: oh look ii found the catch iit’2 that you’re fucked iin the thiinkpan.   
CT: D --> It is not your place to say such things to me   
CT: D --> Lowblood   
TA: you diid not ju2t 2ay that.   
TA: ii don’t know what the fuck ii2 wrong wiith you 2uddenly be2iide2 the obviiou2   
TA: but you are not doing thii2   
TA: you are not makiing iit happen.   
TA: ii’m goiing to kiick your a22 2o hard for thii2 iin about two hour2 and ii almo2t hope you’re 2ayiing thii2 2hiit two aa becau2e 2he’ll make me look niice and harmle22.   
TA: breakup not accepted   
TA: 2hiitpan.

>Kick his ass so hard for this.

You are SOLLUX CAPTOR, and you’re working on it! That’s not a thing you can do at this distance, unfortunately, and though you’re narrowing that distance as fast as you can, a little faster than you thought you could before Equius pissed you off, it’s still going to be a while before you can give him the ass-kicking he deserves for being the most unmitigated douchebag of your entire acquaintance, ever.

It just figures that not one thing could keep from falling down around your ears with the rest of it. No, this being your life, it’s an all-or-nothing deal: you lose all, or you keep nothing. There is no bright side. Any pretending otherwise was clearly flying in the face of established patterns.

He is _such an asshole_. Couldn’t he wait to be the biggest fucking idiot of all the idiots until maybe an entire night after the malicious humor of paradox space kicked you all back into hell? No, clearly, he could not. His idiocy was just too huge to be suppressed. You genuinely thought you were past this shit, but apparently in his head, that was just a brief vacation to enable him to be a more efficient asshole in future.

You’re seeing yellow. It shoves you through the air fast, faster, fastest. You are a rage-powered one-troll flying machine.

You should probably calm down at least a little before you go off course or crash into something. You should also probably check in with your moirail for his benefit, in case he’s still having what Feferi calls the sillygills and you call an accurate appraisal of the situation.

>Troll Eridan.

twinArmageddons [TA] began trolling caligulasAquarium [CA]

TA: ii’m goiing two kiill equiiu2.   
TA: for real thii2 tiime.   
CA: uh huh sure you are   
CA: wwhat did he do   
CA: other than exist in a vvaguely related wway   
TA: he triied two dump me!   
CA: wwait wwhat wwhy   
TA: becau2e he’2 a 2weaty blueblood douchebag i2 why.   
CA: point a order   
CA: that wwas nevver not a thin that wwas true   
TA: well ii don’t know iit’2 not liike he told me hii2 iimp2hiit rea2oniing.   
TA: ju2t oh hii 2ollux iit ha2 ju2t occurred two me that ii am way behiind on my fuckiing your liife over quota.   
TA: let me fiix that.   
CA: wwoww thats wway outta line   
CA: i can kinda see wwhere hes comin from though   
CA: evverythins different now   
TA: oh fuck no not you two.   
CA: wwell it is   
CA: i know you dont hold wwith bein responsible an shit but some a us have obligations to uphold   
TA: oh, fuck you ed.   
TA: fuck you and fuck your obliigatiion2 and fuck all the re2t of your 2tupiid hemo2pectrum 2hiit.   
TA: ii’m not puttiing up wiith iit from you or anyone el2e.   
CA: you mean that   
TA: of cour2e ii fuckiing mean iit.   
TA: the re2t of you want thii2 2hiitty world back two bad ii’m not having any.   
CA: thanks sol   
TA: what the fuck ii2 wrong wiith the iin2iide of your cranium?   
TA: that wa2n’t a compliment.   
CA: nothins wwrong   
TA: eriidan.. .. ..   
CA: wwe can talk about it wwhen wwe get to vvriss ok   
CA: you are gonna be there right   
TA: no ii’m doiing all thii2 work to go iin the completely oppo2iite diirectiion.   
CA: i wwasnt wworried or anything   
TA: 2ure. go fliip your fiin2 about whiich 2carve2 two pack or 2omethiing.   
TA: 2ee you later.   
CA: yeah   
CA: later sol

>Be not worried or anything.

You are ERIDAN AMPORA, and you are so worried. You are possibly also anything.

Anything mostly consists of being vaguely pissed at your moirail for daring to have problems at the same time as you. It’s very rude of him, and you’re going to have to adjust your priorities to include dealing with all his problems immediately, so he has the time and attention to give your problems that you feel they deserve.

At least you’ll be able to tell him what’s wrong. Unlike some people, he’s not pleased as Troll Punch about being dropped on your shame globes back on this world you’d resigned yourself to never seeing again without nearly as much sorrow as you should have felt.

You’re supposed to be happy. You’re back. You’re royalty again, real royalty not stupid fake Prince royalty that you still think is fake and also stupid. You can do anything you want. You could hold off on feeding Gl’bgolyb for a while and make all Sollux’s problems go right away and oh glub you can’t believe you just thought that.

You kind of miss hating all landdwellers. Now every time you think of hunting lusii, you imagine your friends watching you haul off their custodians, and you’re not sure you can.

Of course you can. You’re a troll. You were made for slaughter. It’s what you do best.

Glub, what’s keeping her? It can’t be that hard to explain the concept of going away for a quick visit, can it? Maybe you’d better check that she’s okay.

>Troll Feferi.

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling cuttlefishCuller [CC]

CA: wwhats takin so long fef   
CA: fef   
CA: feeeef   
CC: I’m rig)(t )(ere enough)( already!   
CA: wwell wwhy arent you right here in a literal sense   
CA: wwevve gotta get a movve on   
CC: I know, I know. I’ll be t)(ere in a MINUT---E!   
CC: It’s )(ard to get )(er to understand!   
CC: S)(e missed me.   
CA: howw is that evven a thin   
CA: wwe wwerent actually gone   
CA: its still the same night wwe wwere gonna play   
CC: S)(e knows we were gone.   
CC: S)(e’s not like everyone else!   
CC: S)(e knows w)(at we did!   
CA: wwell good for her i guess but then she should knoww wwhy you gotta go   
CC: Not reelly, but I t)(ink s)(e’s got it now!   
CA: wwhat wwhat didnt she get   
CC: W)(ale, I’m t)(e )(eiress, so I’m seapposed to stay wit)( )(er until I’m ready to c)(allenge for t)(e t)(rone!   
CC: It’s for my own PROT---ECTION!   
CC: But I guess t)(at doesn’t matter now.   
CA: like theres anythin on this planet could givve you trouble   
CC: Yea)(…   
CC: I guess trolls are so small, our strength)(s all look the salmon to )(er.   
CC: But I’ll be done soon!   
CC: I’m just saying goodbye!   
CA: tell her youll be back soon or wwhatevver   
CC: Yea)(.   
CC: I’ll tell )(er t)(at.

>Tell her that.

You are FEFERI PEIXES, and you don’t tell your lusus that you’ll be back soon, because you don’t want to lie to her. You’ve never, ever lied to your lusus, just like she’s never lied to you, and you’re not going to start now.

You are maybe not telling her a few things, but you know she’s done the same to you, so it doesn’t really count the same as lying. Besides, if you told her, you wouldn’t be able to change your mind later. Not that you’re going to change your mind, but you sort of wish you were.

It’s not what you expected, being back on Alternia! There are a lot of things you got used to not having around during the game, and having them back all of a sudden is something of a surprise to everyone, but especially to you. Your lusus was surprised too, and then angry, and then she did something you still can’t convince her was the wrong thing to do.

  
She says you’re stronger now, stronger and older, on the inside if not on the outside, and there are things that have always followed from that. You _know_! But you just got back, you don’t know what’s happened, you’re not _ready_! You’re scared and confused and you don’t know what to do, but you’re going to have to do something. She doesn’t care if you’re ready or not. You guess you can see her point of view: she’s very old, and none of the others were ready either. But it’s still not fair that she went ahead without letting you decide!

You should have told the others, not kept it all a secret even from Eridan. You’ll tell them later, in person, when it’ll be harder, maybe, for them to throw you out to handle your problem on your own. You don’t like handling problems on your own; you’d rather have your friends with you.

You pat your lusus on the tentacle one last time and glub your goodbyes, then make for the surface. It’s going to be a busy night.


	4. Revisit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An assembly of heroes.
> 
> A soap opera of teenagers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A thousand thanks to the inimitable Elanor Pam, beta sans peur et sans reproche.
> 
> Warning: Minor ableist language. Also, horrible teenagers being bad at things.

**> Terezi: Descend.**

Finding Vriska’s hive from the air is not nearly as difficult as the new point of view would suggest: her completely unnecessary tower sticks up out of the landscape like a slender metallic stitching tool wedged between two floorboards to stab the unwary foot. You are suddenly filled with regret that Vriska’s hive is about to be traversed by unwary feet other than hers, some of which you care about; otherwise, you would be enthusiastically prepared to literalize some shiny, pointy metaphors. Also, you packed your scalemate repair kit in too large a bundle to dig your needles out without raining fabric and stuffing down on Vriska’s roof, and that would be wasteful.

You and dragonmom do an elegant yet disdainful spiral around the tower before landing gracefully and mightily on the front lawnring, instead.

Vriska doesn’t come out to greet you or anything, even though you’re quite sure you’re the first one here. Rude! She just doesn’t want to admit that your lusus is every bit as awesome as you always said she was. Your lusus is better than hers and always has been.

This is not a difficult thing to be. You make a mental note to go spit on the spidercorpse some time Vriska isn’t paying attention.

You give dragonmom an affectionate pat on her mighty nose and head for the front entrance aperture. It’s not locked – rude, yet lazy – so you let yourself in. You’re sure Vriska will mind if you take a quick snoop around. Not that you aren’t already completely familiar with her hive and its contents, but mere prior knowledge should not get in the way of a good snoop.

Unfortunately, while she didn’t come outside, she did notice you arriving: when you let the door close behind you, she’s there at the bottom of the least-dusty flight of stairs, glaring at you.

You glare back. Having pupils to narrow again is a definite advantage here. Vriska’s vision eightfold just makes her look cross-eyed. “Serket.”

“Pyrope,” she sneers. “I’d been hoping your big baby lusus would fall out of the sky and crush you to death beneath its massive fatty bulk.”

You’re glad to see her too, but she’s just over-the-top. She gets that way when she’s nervous. You can taste her apprehension, but it’s not even about you. Ruder and ruder! This cannot be allowed to stand. “I see you didn’t manage to blow up your hive while performing a routine execution this time,” you reply. “You may make a barely competent execaretaker yet!”

“I saved some of the blood for you,” she says, “to rub in your hair until it dries and you have to cut it aaaaaaaall off to get it out, right down to the _scalp_.” She’s totally thinking about you now. You win.

Unfortunately, she’s not nervous anymore, even though she’s alone with you and who knows when the next person will arrive. You could have her bleeding out in her own front hall in three minutes, and it would be so much fun! She is being very impolite or very oblivious not to treat your presence like an implicit threat.

The fact that you’re not going to kill her, or even try very hard, is completely beside the point. The point is that you could do it! It wouldn’t even be illegal! A troll killed by their kismesis legally counts as a suicide if there are enough witnesses to their relationship, and even discounting everyone whose opinion doesn’t have much legal weight, you have plenty. You looked it up on the way over in between making plans.

“You would have to get close enough first, and we both know you are far too slow for that.” Just a _little_ duel wouldn’t hurt. To first blood, even. You’ll be gentle.

You so totally _won’t_.

You are really incredibly fond of the way Vriska’s face lights up right before she leaps for your throat. All eight of her eyes focus in on you and she smells like oranges and bloodlust, sharp and bright. This is the first time you’ve seen and smelled her at the same time, and it’s your new favorite sensory experience. You are going to kick her ass so hard her stupid ancestor feels it.

She’s all power and no finesse, as usual, committing to the leap way too early and swinging for your face like there’s some kind of surprise factor in play. Still, she’s fast and not kind of sore from riding dragonback for the first time, and you don’t get entirely out of the way. She ends up hitting your right arm and knocking you both over. Her ‘oof!’ is music. Yours, somewhat less so.

You graze her in a dozen places as you flip each other over, scrabbling for leverage, but those aren’t real wounds, not ones that count. A stray splinter could have given you the gash on your forearm! If she wants you to award her any points at all, she will have to try harder. She’s certainly not earning any for style.

She is, however, earning several for interesting writhing with her attempts to pin you. You writhe interestingly – and, more importantly, effectively – right back. If you can get all of her attention on escaping the pin, you’ll have a chance to – yes!

You sink your teeth into the meat of Vriska’s forearm. It tastes like delicious blueberry victory.

The fact that the claws of her other hand rake across the back of your neck immediately afterward does not count, as you have already won. It does, however, infuriate you. Can’t she admit when she’s lost, just once? You bite her again reprovingly. Her snarl grates electrically in your ears.

This is definitely going somewhere terriblertaining, when all of a sudden Karkat and Kanaya are standing in the doorway You almost completely forgot about them. (This is a lie, as you never forget about anything, but it is true that you allowed yourself to be slightly distracted by how much you want to rip Vriska’s face off and eat it.)

It’s somewhat embarrassing to be caught making out like someone on whose clarity of mind the fate of the Empire does not rely, but you can get over it! You disentangle yourself from Vriska with slightly less than all the aplomb you can muster and approach Karkat.

He’s nervous, every muscle wound up tight tight tight in the way that makes you desperate to unwind them. You noticed during the game that after everything started going right he started relaxing all those little spools of nerves, but you didn’t realize how much until now, when they’re all back again. He’s a model of a troll made entirely out of stretchable elastic circles, and you’re afraid of what will happen if they all pull too taut at once.

You will just have to make absolutely sure that that does not happen.

It is barely possible that you play up how knobbly Vriska’s limb joints were and how emphatic the aches are where they tug into your sides, but you would do a lot more than play a little pretend game for the way Karkat’s face softens right up. Vriska doesn’t care what you look like right now, so there’s no point in being tough.

“Hey, cute thing!” you say.

“What the fuck,” he replies, “do you think you’re doing, you hormone-addled sack of shit? I know you were paying attention to the memo, because you kept sticking your cartilaginous glasses holder in, so please, educate me: was it **anywhere** on **anyone’s** priority list that you see how many injuries you rack up before we even have anything to fight?!”

He glares at the scratches as though they have wronged him personally.

“You were taking far too long to arrive,” you advance as a defense. “You have no grounds to blame us for being bored!”

“I have grounds to blame you for whatever I want,” he grumbles. “Also, I’m not cute.”

You have a series of educational images already prepared to address this persistent delusion of Karkat’s, but they will have to wait, because he’s licking your scratches clean. Your matesprit is the hugest romantic. As much as you laugh at him, you’re very glad he’s interested in being the hugest romantic with you.

As a bonus, you can smell Vriska’s jealousy from here. Too bad for her! If she wants a matesprit who will do these kinds of things for her, she will just have to troll up and stop downplaying her injuries in front of Kanaya. How hopeless can she actually _be_?

**> Vriska: Troll up.**

You cannot troll up, as you have already done so! You are the most trolled-up troll who ever trolled. No one can hope to beat you in a troll-off; you are simply the best there is.

You have no idea what to say.

You’ve spent the last hour thinking about what you’ll say to Kanaya, and now that she’s right there you can’t remember a single damn word. Worse, you look terrible. Stupid Terezi and her stupid hotness antagonizing you when you wanted to look good! You hate her _so much_. She doesn’t have to worry about this kind of thing! Karkat’s a sure thing with her, plus he doesn’t notice how anyone looks anyway unless maybe they’re bleeding to death. Kanaya does notice hair and clothes and all that shit you usually don’t have any time for, so you tried to look at least okay, but now you look _awful_ , and it’s all Terezi’s fault!

“Hi,” you say. Way to go, Vriska, very suave. Pull yourself together! What would Mindfang do?

...Nnnnnnnnever mind. Mindfang is just letting you down all over the place tonight.

“Good evening, Vriska,” says Kanaya. “I am sorry to have interrupted what I am sure was a truly satisfying squabble, but unfortunately my ability to observe a location before arriving at it is limited to say the least. I am glad that you have not moved any significant furniture in this block since the last time I observed it; otherwise there would havebeen a possibility of extremely untoward results.”

Her rambling is so cute, how does she stand herself? It’s a mystery to you. “I wouldn’t do that! I mean, moving furnishing units is the most _booooooooring_ thing, literally ever.”

“I appreciate the consideration even in the negative.” She looks down at your arm, which is kind of dripping on your clothes. You don’t care, but maybe she does. “Your injury looks superficial, but I do not think it would do any harm to take care of it all the same. Here, let me take a look.”

You automatically tuck your arm behind your back. You’re not a wiggler who can’t handle a little bite! You can still pull your weight, and everyone else’s when they fall apart like stupid dumb losers, even if Terezi’s teeth are really sharp and your arm kind of stings. It’s not a big deal or anything! You were just playing! It’s not like you’re one of those no-fun gamers who can’t take a hit without whining to their friends about it!

Lately, you’ve been finding yourself hearing Tavros’s voice sometimes even when he’s not around, telling you things you totally already know but maybe slipped your mind for just a minute. It would be really annoying if he weren’t right a lot of the time, because this is a part of him that is you, and you are always right! This is one of those times. Tavros reminds you that seeing someone’s injuries, and caring for them, is an important way of showing that you pity them, and wouldn’t want them to be hurt, and on the other side, of showing that you trust them, not to hurt you, even when it’s possible.

He is such a weak wimpy little meddler, even when he’s you!

You hold out your arm so Kanaya can see. “It’s not like a big deal or anything,” you say, just to make it clear that you’re doing this for her, not because you’re a whiner. “I can totally take care of it myself.”

Kanaya is really gentle with your arm, the way she’s gentle with you almost all the time. “I am confident that you are perfectly capable. However, this is your dominant arm, is it not? Treating one’s own injuries is particularly difficult with only one available hand, I have found.”

She actually wraps it, which is completely not necessary, but you don’t try to stop her. She’s really pretty when she’s focused on something, even more than usual.

Tavros-in-your-head is an okay guy, you guess.

“Do you want something to eat, or drink, or whatever?” you ask. That’s how this works, right? You offer to share your food? Besides, she looks way more tired than she should, considering you all woke up this evening as though everything that could have made you tired never happened. “You look _terrible_.” Oh shit, that was the worst possible thing to say, how did you even _manage_ that? “I mean, not like you don’t still look great, I bet it’s not even possible for you to look shitty, but whatever, you know what I mean!” Maybe she’s suddenly gone deaf. Maybe she’ll pretend to have suddenly gone deaf. Maybe the roof will fall in.

She totally does understand you, because Kanaya is the _best_. “While I appreciate the offer, I probably ought to be getting on with my assigned tasks. Gamzee is not going to fetch himself, and I would just as soon leave as large a margin of error as possible before dawn in case of unexpected difficulties.”

You consider trying harder to make her stay here, but it occurs to you that you have plans that involve Gamzee being here rather than anywhere else, and Kanaya is the only one who can bring him. It’s hard, sometimes, having so many irons in the fire! But you will survive, somehow. It’s not like she’ll be gone for long, anyway.

“I guess if you’ve absolutely _gotta_ care about whether he gets burned or not, that’s okay. But don’t, like, get yourself hurt or anything, because that would be dumb!”

“I promise that not injuring myself remains an important priority of mine. I will see you later, though hopefully not very much later, then, Vriska.”

Oh god, she’s giving you that look like she’s hoping for you to do or say something but doesn’t want to ask, because she’s Kanaya that way. You want to do it for her, you do, but you don’t know what it is she wants. You hate this! Romance is the worst!

“…Bye,” you say lamely.

That was totally not the right thing at all, you can tell because you’re trying to get better at reading Kanaya and if you’d gotten it right she would be smiling a lot more brightly. Instead, she draws her space power thing up around her. Just before she vanishes, she sort of glows dark against the world, like the gaps between stars, and in the lights of her eyes you can see eight different places she might be just by wanting it. She’s beautiful.

You kind of stare at the piece of air that doesn’t have Kanaya in it anymore for a while.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake, **kiss her** next time!” Karkat yells at you, and you spin around with a snarl. It’s not any of his business! Besides, Kanaya didn’t want you to kiss her! …Did she? 

“Fuck off, Vantas!”

Terezi is leaning on him and laughing at you as he starts giving you a lecture on dramatic moments and romantic tension that you’re 88% sure he picked up from a shitty movie forum somewhere. You hope Tavros gets here soon. His conversation is way better, not that that’s saying much!

**> Tavros: Arrive.**

Luckily, your journey takes a good bit less time than you were worried it might, so you get to Vriska’s hive with plenty of time to spare before the sun rises or anything else happens to cause problems. Your new thunderscalebeast friend, who’s really an old friend, but you hadn’t seen him for a while, at least from your point of view, and also definitely had never asked him to take you this far before, is enjoying the trip himself, so you don’t feel bad about asking him to leave his home. He pulls up hard right before coming out of the woods to Vriska’s lawnring, though, and you don’t blame him when you take a look at what he’s smelling. Terezi’s lusus is huge, huger even than him by a long way, and dragons are pretty solidly at the top of every natural food chain, on land anyway.

You’re sure she’s not really dangerous to you, though, so you dismount, leaving Tinkerbull with the thunderscalebeast to keep him quiet and reassure him that you haven’t just left him there, and go over to her, kind of stumbling a bit at first. One of the problems with legs is that they don’t like riding for long and aren’t shy of letting you know it. You don’t think that’s much of a downside, comparatively.

Communing with lusii is kind of rude, but you don’t think Terezi will mind if you just talk, instead of trying to make her do anything, and anyway you definitely want to get to know any animals bigger than you before wandering through anything they might think of as their territory.

_Greeting/nonhostile/affection/respect_

, you think at her, which is more or less how beasts and lusii understand a friendly greeting. They’re not really much for words, at least not on the level where your abilities work.

_Greeting/affection/recognition!_

you get back, bright and clear, and it rocks you back on your heels (your very own heels!) a little. Terezi’s lusus thinks a lot more clearly than anything else you’ve ever communed with, which now that you think about it makes sense, since dragons are psychic, or at least that’s what your schoolfeed supplements tell you.

_Nice to see you again under better circumstances,_

you hear, in words this time, and that does more than rock you back. You didn’t know dragons could communicate with more than just their charges and other dragons in words! It kind of makes you nervous, having someone else in your head, when you’re not sure how much control of the connection you have, and especially when she remembers the time Vriska made you commune with her.

If Vriska gets you eaten by a dragon, you think you may un-forgive her for that, and probably a few other things, too.

But cutting the connection would almost certainly be rude, and you can tell that Terezi’s lusus isn’t mad at you, so you don’t. Instead, you think carefully back, _I’m sorry about that._ It’s harder to think proper sentences over to her, since you usually don’t, but you try anyway.

_Not your fault, all is forgiven. You are well?_

_Yes!_

You think you may have shouted that, but the happiness you’ve been feeling off and on, from being alive and whole and having people you care about, burst out in your thoughts before you could moderate it. It feels blue, like the sky of your personal planet, which you miss, but not as much as you missed your legs which are yours.

It occurs to you that you should probably ask what you came over to ask her; otherwise you’re keeping your friend waiting and nervous, and that’s rude. _Can my friend come out here and be safe?_ You think every word very carefully, so that you don’t lose track or repeat yourself.

_Yes. Friends!_

You grin and reach out to the thunderscalebeast in your normal way. _Safe/reassurance/nonhostile/nonhungry_ , you tell him. He believes you, because animals are generally pretty trusting if you’ve built up a good relationship, but he grumbles a bit in your head as he comes out of the trees. He still doesn’t come too close to the dragon, but it’s a start.

“Oh my _god_ , Toreadork, quit being Troll Doctor Doolittle and come talk to the real people already!”

You jump a little bit, but not enough to frighten your friends. You may have kind of forgotten that Vriska’s hive isn’t just a piece of landscape, but a place with people inside it who you should talk to, even if you saw them only a few hours ago, and you’ve never met a dragon before at all.

“I’m coming, if you wait a minute!” you call back to Vriska, and only after you’ve said it do you think that maybe that wasn’t so great an idea. That was the kind of thing you could say to Vriska during the game, after a while, but now she’s a ceruleanblood again, not that she ever wasn’t, but the point is that someone like you can’t really tell a cerulean to wait.

“Hurry _uuuuuuuup_!” She doesn’t sound like she’s thinking about that, though, so maybe it’s not going to be a problem.

Still, you don’t take as much time saying good-bye for now to Terezi’s lusus as you want, not that you could take as much time as you want, since you would kind of rather stay and talk to her more and not say good-bye at all. Vriska meets you halfway to the front door anyway.

She punches you on the arm, but it doesn’t hurt at all, so that’s okay. “What _took_ you so long to get here? The pitywingbeasts are driving me crazy!” You’re pretty sure that means she was concerned for your wellbeing, and also that the pitywingbeasts are driving her crazy.

“Who is it that you’re referring to, in this case?”

“Vantas and Pyrope, duh!” She rolls her eyes so hard you think it has to hurt. You can’t help but notice that, on the list of things that have to hurt, she has a bandage around her left arm, and also a small collection of minor injuries, which you guess you can expect, but it’s not like Terezi can have been here that long. Also, she’s doing this thing that you’ve noticed she often does, where she acts really incredibly confident, way more confident than anyone could ever actually be, even Vriska.

You definitely have to talk to her about things soon, even if she doesn’t want to, because if you don’t she might, possibly, explode, and nobody likes it when she explodes, especially not you.

Soon, but probably not now, considering that you’re on her lawnring, and there are other people who would almost certainly hear every word you said. “Terezi and Karkat are here already?” Not that you didn’t know that Terezi was here, with the dragon and all, but Karkat didn’t bring his lusus, it looks like. “Is, um, anyone else here yet...?” By ‘anyone else’ you almost completely mean Gamzee, and Vriska knows it, because you told her, which from the look on her face you suspect you’re going to regret.

“Kanaya went to get him,” she says, “waaaaaaaay too long ago. They’ll be back soon! So we have time to coach you on what you’re going to say when he gets here!”

“Uhh,” you say, trying to think of a polite way to say ‘please, please don’t’. It’s not that you don’t believe Vriska wants to help, it’s just that everybody has something they are best at, and in Vriska’s case, that something is definitely not romance, of any kind. “I think, maybe, that things like this should be spontaneous, and from the bloodpusher, instead of planned, too much, which kind of makes me nervous, more than I already would be...”

She rolls her eyes again, but her grin is much less ominous. “You are the lamest lame lamer to ever be lame! Buuuuuuuut if you _really_ want to mess it up on your own, I won’t stop you! Just remember my generous offer when you crash and burn!”

“Thank you,” you say. You really, sincerely mean it. You hope you don’t crash and burn, though, since Vriska will be smug forever if you do, and also you’d rather, on a personal level, succeed at talking to someone you want to kiss, about how you want to kiss them, and maybe have a positive outcome, than fail, in any of the ways that failure could be measured in this situation.

“Could we maybe, go inside now, and say hello to people, instead of standing out here?” you ask. Not that you’re opposed to being outside, but you kind of want to see Terezi’s eyes, which you haven’t seen for a long time, and let her see for real that your legs work again, and things like that.

“You’re the one who was taking forever!”

Terezi is a really super great friend, and it’s proven as fact, because as soon as she sees you she gives you a big hug, so you can give her one too, which was pretty much exactly what you wanted to happen, even if it means she’s shouting, “We are indisputably the best!” kind of loudly and close to your ear. But she is completely right, you are all the best, and have won at everything forever, particularly at having limbs and organs and lusii, all of which are way more important than people mostly think about them, who have never had the experience of not having any of those things.

Then all of a sudden Kanaya and Gamzee appear in the middle of the receivingblock with you, and you’re not sure if it’s really accurate to say that you’ve won at everything yet, when you kind of can’t breathe properly and very definitely want to be in the most elsewhere possible location.

**> Gamzee: Talk to Tavros.**

You would be talking to Tavros, right this very motherfucking second, but you’ve got at least a couple seconds’ worth of other things to be getting off your hands first, so you can talk to your bullbro with all the hands he is definitely up and deserving. Kanaya is the most on your hands of all of them, ‘cause she ain’t any kind of well, no matter what she was all insisting on when you said it wouldn’t do any harm to get your walk on for a bit instead of working her miracle space thing harder than it looked like feeling ready to be worked. She’s none so hard to get off your hands, though, not when Vriska’s right there looking like she’s been and tried to make her face look like it’s singing a worrysong, which ain’t a song her face is used to nohow.

As soon as your Sylphsis is off your hands, though, there’s one thing you’ve gotta get good and on them before they’re any kind of good for handholding, and that’s Karkat. Your best palebro is all hovering like a miracle of a troll wingbeast, working himself into a most unchill fret when what he really wants to do is get his hug on. So you get his hug on for him, nice and tight and comfort-like. You maybe lift him up just a little bit like he gets his embarrassed yell on about doing in public, but the way you figure it, there’s nothing wrong with being a little bit warmer than you’d otherwise be if the night is special enough, and you just won a pretty motherfucking long game, which makes tonight pretty motherfucking special, if you look at it like that.

If you don’t, if you look at it the way you can’t help but be getting your gander on, then you really could motherfucking use a tight motherfucking hug.

Your Karkat seems to be in a not unlike shape of pan, which is nothing to rouse your glee for in its ownself, but right in the now it means he holds you just as tight and just as long as you’re holding him, enough so you can be motherfucking sure he’s not going anywhere on you. He’s all strong and soft and miraculous warm, and you can’t even imagine how your friends even keep breathing not getting to hug him.

You can see Terezi over top of Karkat’s head, her looking at him with her whole body, and maybe you and she don’t always see eye to eye on matters miraculous, but if you didn’t have nothing between you at all but the look you both give him when he can’t see you all doing it, that look what he doesn’t believe it if he does see you, that little nothing you can touch would still give you your surety of her. You don’t need no promise from her, not from her and not from your kittysis when she gets here, to be having the knowing of the pact you’ll be forming without ever saying a word about it. It’s its own kind of marvelous miracle, the harmony pity can be up and playing on people.

In his own time your palebro has his embarrassment catch up to him and puffs himself all up like anyone has any kind of minding for how he shows his diamond, but you don’t care what he says with his words, his whole self says everything you need to hear. Now you feel like you’ve gotten your relax back on enough to go talk to Tavros, see if maybe he meant what you were thinking you’d like him to mean. That would be the wickedest miracle you’ve seen tonight, wicked enough in miracle ways to almost make the rest of the unmiracles go away.

When you get your look on for him, though, to see if maybe he’s got a piece of time you could be sharing, he’s all wearing his serious face and making hissing little wind noises with Vriska. You’re not sure how you all be up and feeling about that. Miracle of serendipity as pale feelings are, you’ve never been easy in your own pan about Vriska, after what she did to Tavros and all, up and changing her mind so sudden and being let pretend there ain’t nothing between them ever wasn’t pale-sweet.

Could be you’re a little touch worried still about her being safe for your miracle boy, could be that makes you get your mosey on over to them when you wouldn’t otherwise be all up and interrupting palefriends in a jam time like this one is. Could just motherfucking be you feel the whimsy jitters coming up inside you every time there’s a second goes by with you not knowing what Tavros maybe is all wanting from you.

Your Tavbro sees you coming, but maybe he ain’t your Tavbro after all, ‘cause he goes to get his abscond on like you’re some flavor of danger come to lay some hurt on him, and doesn’t that just drill a hole right through your heart.

Vriska doesn’t let him abscond, though, and she gets her hiss on something motherfucking fierce, until he changes his mind around, or gives up maybe, and stays where you can get to him.

“Hey,” you say. You don’t rightly have the words for what you’d like to be conveying, not when you don’t know what he’s all up and thinking in that miracle pan of his.

“Uh, hi, Gamzee,” is all he looks like to say for his part, and the hole gets drilled just a little wider for every word he doesn’t have to say to you. You bet he’s wishing right now he hadn’t tried that joke what turned out to not be all that motherfucking funny after all.

“Gamzee!”

Vriska’s got her plotting face on, you don’t have to be any kind of comfortable with her to see that. Ain’t nothing that shape of cheek-twisting could be but a plotting face. “Just the troll I wanted to see! I’ve got something _really important_ to show you two!”

You can see a trap when she’s laying it all out so tidy-like, practically got the blueprints held out in front of her for you to see whether you look or not, and you don’t have any plans to go falling into traps, not spidertraps or any traps, but Tavros is looking at her like she’s giving him some kind of present. Maybe, you figure, he doesn’t want to talk in front of everyone that’s here and everyone as might finish their miracle journeys while you’re talking, and for all you’re no kind of private person that’s the kind of want you can be respecting. “Lay it on me, spidersis.”

You’re no kind of surprised at all when the first empty block you come to she shoves you and Tavros in without going anything like inside herself and shuts the door on you. That was pretty much what you were hoping she’d do, and it’s no harm but maybe a reasonable bit of good, so as far as you know it’s the best set of actmotifs she’s ever gone and done.

“So, uh,” Tavros starts his speaking, still nervous in a way that twists you up inside for him being nervous of you in any kind of way that ever might be, “I guess we should talk, about what I said, the last time we talked, if that’s a thing that makes sense, for me to say…”

He’s all scared like you ain’t ever seen him with you, not even looking up where you might take a chance of catching his eye and showing him how little anything’s gotta change if he doesn’t want it to. You never wanted to make your Tavbro this kind of scared, like there’s some power you’ve got that you might ever use to do him harm, and just for a moment the thought sneaks its way into your thinkpan that he was never scared of you when you were eating sopor, like maybe he’d like it better if you stopped remembering all those things you up and forgot all that time.

“I just want you to know, that it doesn’t have to be a big deal, if you don’t want it to, because I value your friendship, kind of a lot, and, um, I wouldn’t want to lose that, over something stupid, that I said, so if you want, we could just agree, that it hadn’t happened, and not to talk about it, or related topics, such as feelings, which I may or may not have, again.”

The thoughts sneaking around your pan made you almost up and miss what he was saying, but Tavros saying that he values your friendship isn’t the kind of thing you could ever for real miss, no matter what thoughts you were motherfucking thinking. “There’s nothing you could ever say to make me up and not be friends with a motherfucker,” you say, and maybe those words aren’t the ones you wish you’d said, but they seem to do the job when it comes to brightening Tavros right back up until he looks you in the face for true. That gets you to figuring you might as well give saying what you mean another try. “I don’t want a Tavbro to be up and feeling like he’s gotta say the right thing if it’s not something he’s all behind with his own rhythm, you feel me?”

The way he startles, you think maybe you got him wrong, and it’s all kinds of relief to that hole you ain’t quite forgot about. “That’s not, uh, what I mean is, there are things, or one particular thing, I may have said, that you might not want to have heard, but they weren’t, it wasn’t, not a thing that was true, and still is true, for me.”

“Really?” You can’t stop a smile from breaking out on your face, ‘cause that sounds pretty motherfucking close to telling you that you can fill in that hole in your heart and forget it was ever for a minute there.

He smiles like a moonrise full of teeth, sweet-sharp and gorgeous, and you don’t know what hole could ever have been in your heart. “Really.”

You would’ve said when you woke up tonight that there was nothing like miracles anyplace anymore, but now you’re kissing your motherfucking matesprit you guess you maybe counted just the smallest bit wrong.

You then proceed to have the sloppiest rap-off (or possibly the rappingest makeouts) in the history of paradox space.

**> Nepeta: Eavesdrop.**

That’s so unfair! It makes it sound like you’re the only one eavesdropping, which is completely not true! In fact, it’s kind of hard to hear anything with all these people trying to be quiet.

They’re not very good at it, not nearly as good as you. A lot of the most delicious wild beasts have very sharp ears, so you have to be the quietest stalking huntress of all just to get close enough for a pounce. Your friends don’t eat wild beasts much, so they aren’t nearly as good at being sneaky. They keep twitching and making their clothes make noises.

It sounds like the interesting bit is over, though, unless you want to listen to your friends kissing, which is the creepiest thing you can possibly think of to do as well as being the least romantic, so instead you sneak very carefully back out to the receiving block with the rest of your friends., who are also not creepy…or at least not _that_ creepy. You can all be pretty creepy sometimes!

Thinking of people who are creepy makes you think of your moirail, who is probably the creepiest person you know (but not creepy enough to be listening to your friends kiss; you don’t know anyone that creepy). You’re kind of worried about him, because he wasn’t here when you arrived, but there’s no way he could have come here late when he lives right next door in practically the same hive, so he has to be avoiding you. This is definitely a worry, no matter what he promised, because he’s so dumb and thinks he’s right all the time even when he’s completely and totally wrong, so if he’s avoiding you, it’s because he did something so terrible he can’t even convince himself that it wasn’t, not STRONGly enough to defend it to you.

You are going to have to find him and make him tell you what he did.

This will be one of your less dangerous hunts, actually, since there aren’t a lot of beasts inside, and all the _trolls_ inside are your friends, but you know Vriska and Equius both have some strange stuff lying around, so you guess that will do.

Before setting off, though, you give Karkat his second big pounce of the night, with a bonus nuzzle because he’s just too cute not to nuzzle every chance you get.

“What the fuck do you want now?” he says. “Because I warn you, I already blew all my stupid public fucking displays of affection for the perigee, if not the sweep. Why am I surrounded by people who can’t keep their globefondling grasping limbs to themselves for five grubfucking minutes? What did I ever do to paradox space—”

You decide he’s probably said everything he actually needed to say, so it’s okay to kiss him a bit now. He hardly splutters at all when you’re done. Practice is definitely making perfect, or maybe resigned. Either way, you win!

“I’m going to go hunt fur Equius and tell him he’s being impawsible,” you inform Karkat. If he turns around and you’re not here, he’ll worry, and you don’t want that.

“Why? What’d the sweaty asshole do this time?”

You frown. “I don’t know yet! That’s why I have to go furlush him out of hiding.” He’s not answering his messages, either, so you know he knows he did wrong, whatever he did.

Karkat keeps frowning in the way that means he doesn’t get it and isn’t sure he approves, but Terezi does both, so that’s fine. “Bring the recalcitrant criminal to justice, pouncellor! I am deputizing you in this matter.”

The two of you nuzzle noses. Terezi is your absolutely best friend and maybe-sister, though you haven’t talked to her about calling yourselves that. You know ‘sister’ is kind of a tense word for her, and anyway it’s a big step in a relationship, especially now you’re getting older.

“I hate you both,” Karkat says as you clamber off him and leave him in Terezi’s capable claws. “Platonically.”

You giggle and wave over your shoulder. He’s so cute when he’s flustered!

Once you’re outside of the receivingblock you stop giggling and think seriously about your hunt. Equius could be in his hive, in Vriska’s hive, or outside somewhere. If he wanted to hide seriously from you, the best place would be Vriska’s hive, because you don’t know it at all, but on the other hand, it’s _Vriska’s_ hive. You don’t think it’s very likely he’d hide there, since he didn’t ask permission that you know of, and he cares about things like that. That’s kind of the problem.

The next best place for him to hide from anyone but you would be outside, but you are a mighty tracker as well as hunter and can easily find him if he did, which he knows perfectly well. Besides, there’s nothing he could possibly be doing outside other than hiding, and you know Equius: he doesn’t want to admit that he’s hiding, even when he so totally is! He’s weird that way about a lot of things. So, he’s almost certainly still in his hive somewhere. You take off out the front door and around Vriska’s hive.

You have to turn back and go around the other way, because the body of Vriska’s lusus is blocking your path. It doesn’t bother you or anything, but part of you isn’t sure it’s really dead, and that would be way too big for you to handle on your own!

Or maybe you _could_ handle it now. That thought makes you perk your tail up. You still go back to avoid the spider corpse.

Equius’s hive is really annoyingly big. He could be pretty much anywhere, and it might take you a while to find him if you had to look in every single block. Fortunately, you’re a smart hunter who knows her prey better than anyone.

He’s done something terrible, so he’s unhappy. When he’s unhappy, he gets mad. When he’s mad, he breaks things. He doesn’t like it when he stops being mad and discovers that he’s broken something he cares about, so he tries to break only things he can rebuild. So, right now he’s probably in his workshop, fighting his robots!

You listen carefully, but you can’t hear him yet. You’ll have to get closer before you can start tracking by sound, and you’re not as good at hunting by scent as a real pouncebeast. Sight-hunting it is! You head deeper into the hive. His lusus keeps everything really tidy, but you can still tell which block connection corridors Equius actually uses, particularly when he’s mad. He forgets not to stomp sometimes, and the floors show it.

Finally, you get to a stairwell, and now you can use your sharp ears. The echoes are weird, but you can hear noises up above you. You follow them as fast as you can.

The noises worry you. You’re used to the sound of your moirail hitting things until they give up on staying in one piece. Usually it’s a good sound. He says it makes him feel calmer, and it certainly makes _you_ feel calmer to know he’s there keeping an eye on your back for you. Even when he has bad nights, where he isn’t safe for anyone but you until he’s worn himself out, it’s comforting to hear him beating up robots or monsters. As long as he’s doing that, you know he’s still there inside. You haven’t lost him. (You worry about losing him sometimes.)

The sounds you’re hearing right now don’t sound comforting at all. They don’t sound like he’s hitting anything that can hit him back. Instead, it sounds like he’s pounding something against the floor, or maybe – you wince – ripping pieces off it and pounding _them_ against the floor. That’s not a good sound at all. He calms down from fighting against things, not just hitting them, or at least he did up until now. You swallow before pushing the door open.

Equius is in there, all right, smashing what looks like it used to be a robot torso into smithereens on the floor, and he doesn’t look good at _all_. There are robot parts all over the room – mostly very small parts. He doesn’t have a single injury, like none of the robots, you can’t tell how many, were even turned on. The way he’s breathing, though, he’s been doing this for a long, long while. Hours, probably, maybe even since you talked to him last.

Part of you wants to turn and creep as silently as you know how back down the stairs before he sees you. You shush that part right up! Equius won’t hurt you. He won’t. But if you don’t talk some sense into him, he’ll definitely hurt himself, and he might hurt somebody else.

“What do you think you’re doing?” you say.

He actually jumps, like he didn’t even notice the door opening, but when he turns to look at you, you can tell he’s still your Equius underneath. He bundles the rage back down so he can pretend it was never there. “Ah, Nepeta, I was simply…” He’s trying to think of an excuse and doing pretty terribly at it. “…relieving some stress,” he says eventually. You have to give him some credit for not technically lying to you.

“Hoofbeastshit!”

That doesn’t mean you’re going to let him get away with it. He doesn’t even wince at your language, so there is definitely a serious problem going on in his thinkpan. “Why aren’t you with everyone else?”

“The others have all arrived? Without exception?” He tenses all up again.

Hmmm, you think. “Meowst of them. I didn’t see Sollux or Aradia yet, though. I hope they’re okay.” He winces on both of their names. Just as you suspected, he is a stupid stupid dumbface who should never be allowed to say words without your supervision. You give him your best disapproving face (it’s mostly an imitation of him, actually). “What did you do?”

“That’s none of your—” You do the extra frowny eyebrows, and he reconsiders. “I...took what I concluded was the most advisable course of action.”

Getting the full truth out of him clearly calls for some drastic action. You pounce on him, ejecting your beastpelt pile from your sylladex on the way to the floor. No more dodging now! You are going to have a _feelings jam_.

He knows there’s nothing he can do about it when you’re this serious about a feelings jam, and he doesn’t make you ask any more questions. “Considering the situation,” he says, picking his way around the words like they might bite him, “it would be best for all concerned to restore a particular level of acceptable behavior as soon as possible, lest anyone should get accustomed to lewdness and cease to recognize their shameful behoovior – behavior – as such.”

None of those words mean anything except that he’s a giant troll-shaped bundle of nervous right now, and also it may be almost as bad as you feared on the way over. You’re pretty sure you can guess where he’s going with this, because he’s predictably awful like that.

“Accordingly, I… brought an end to my—dalliance. With the lowbloods.”

You want to headdesk _so badly_ right now, but there’s no desk (you think some of the little metal pieces used to be a desk, though), so you bang your head against Equius’s shoulder instead. Your moirail is such a big dumb butt, why do you even put up with him? Other than because he’d clearly be lost without you, like a grub in the forest, and probably fall down a ravine and get eaten by growlbeasts, only with emotions instead of actual growlbeasts.

“Equius, you are the _worst_ ,” you start to say, but before you can get on to the reasons why, the whole room shakes, like something’s exploded in the tower underneath.

Both of you jump to your feet.

You have to get somewhere safer, have to find the threat, have to make sure that everyone else is okay—

The window blows out, and Aradia’s floating where the glass used to be. Oh. That’s all it was.

Well, not all; when you listen you can hear something – or someone – coming up the stairs, blowing doors off their hinges as they go. Sure enough, Sollux appears in the doorway, flashing a whole bunch of colors. Aradia’s all white, and she’s glowing not flashing, but neither of them look happy. You don’t really blame them, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to let them just come in and go bloodrage on your moirail, if that’s what they have in mind. Not even if he won’t stop them. _Especially_ not if he won’t stop them.

You snarl, just a little, so they know you’re willing to get involved if you have to. You hope you don’t have to. The three of them should definitely talk, and fight too, but you can’t leave them alone if they’re just going to be platonic about it.

Aradia meets your eyes and gives you a little nod. “It’s okay.” She’s pretty trustworthy mostly, so you nod back and sidle toward the door. If Equius asks you to, you’ll stay, but you hope he doesn’t. It’s not a good idea to avoid this kind of thing!

He doesn’t ask you. He’s still gaping at both of them, like he didn’t _expect_ them to be mad and want to fight it out. He is the most dumb. It’s him. 

You don’t trust Sollux as much to not let his powers run away with him, so on your way past him out the door you hiss just for him, “I know where your meowrail sleeps.” You know Equius needs to be smacked upside the thinkpan right now, but if Sollux goes too far, you’ll make him pay.

You abscond back down to the receivingblock, leaping over a scattering of doors, and perch on a furnishing piece. You can’t hear what’s going on up there or anything, but you’re still in the hive, if someone needs you.

You hope they don’t really break up. You think they’re sweet together, if the three of them can work this out.

**> Aradia: Make him pay.**

Oh, you plan to! Do you ever! He is the _worst_ , most _infuriating_ troll in the entire history of the species! You know this for a fact, because all that history is spread out in the map of your veins, and he’s right there at the center of it, in the place reserved for the most horrible horrificantor, making the whole thing hurt.

You want to throw something at Equius, but there’s nothing large enough to throw, so you throw him. He’s big enough. He hits the wall but doesn’t even dent it. It’s very unsatisfying.

You throw some words instead.

“You horrible, disgusting, cowardly excuse for a troll! _How dare you_?!” He doesn’t seem to have anything he wants to say to this, just keeps looking through you like you’re not even there. He’s never looked through you like that before. 

Rage bubbles up hotter inside you with every second he pretends you don’t matter. He’s lying. At a time like this, he’s lying to you!

You go to throw him against another wall in the hopes that a second try will make you feel better, but Sollux beats you to it in a crackle of red and blue. This time Equius does dent the wall, but it doesn’t make him react.

“Answer her!” Sollux yells over the sound of his own psionics. “Answer us, you bulgerotting nookstain!”

Equius keeps not looking at you, but he says, “I have already expressed what there is to exchange. Further discussion would be extremely foolish,” and shuts his mouth again with an audible snap, like he thinks he can end the conversation just by saying so.

It’s like he thinks he’s the boss of you, like you haven’t had this conversation before, like that’s even a thing he _wants_ when you know that’s the opposite of a thing that is true. He’s lying and that’s hurting you, hurting _Sollux_ , and it makes you so mad you can’t say anything, just grab him with your mind and shake him until maybe his thinkpan falls into a more sensible arrangement.

It doesn’t happen. He doesn’t even look at you when you’re shaking him, like you don’t even exist in his world. It infuriates you beyond belief. Equius infuriates you a lot of the time, but right now is something special. You want to rip him apart just so he’ll _pay attention to you_.

You’re not going to. You promised Nepeta, and anyway you don’t want him dead, you just want him to stop – being – so – terrible!

Sollux maybe doesn’t agree, or else just doesn’t care. He’s been having a worse night than you, which you haven’t really been helping. Anyway, he keeps shouting while you both throw Equius into every single last wall and Equius pretends you’re not doing it.

“Is this your idea of a fresh start?” Sollux demands. “Oh hey we’re alive, first thing let’s stop kissing the lowbloods, or they might start getting this weird impression that I liked them, no idea why they might think that, it was just a bit of fun, not an actual _relationship_ or anything. Is that what’s going through that dessicated excuse for a thinkpan?”

It hurts to hear him say the words. It hurts more that Equius doesn’t deny them. That hurt curls around the rage and makes it stronger. He has no right to do this to you! You don’t care what he says, he’s a terrible liar, and you know, you know he wouldn’t have said he cared for you if he didn’t mean it, not when he hated the very idea so much. You want to remind him of what he said, what he did, so he can’t say it didn’t matter. He can’t say _you_ didn’t matter.

This time when you grab him from Sollux you pull him to you instead of throwing him away. Equius actually looks at you for a moment. He’s confused. You’re pleased, finally. He can try to lie from a distance, but he can’t ignore you now.

You kiss him. There’s no pity in it, not now, only hate, boiling out of you and into him. _How dare he_ pretend you don’t matter, when you _own_ him? Who does he think he is to turn you away like this?

For a moment, it’s okay. You can feel him bend to you, just like all the other times you’ve kissed. Sollux’s psionics crackle over both of you, and it’s normal again.

Then Equius changes his mind – you can tell he doesn’t mean it, you can feel him pulling himself together wrong – and tries to pull away from you. You could hold him. It wouldn’t be difficult. You want to hold him. He’s lying and you all know it. If you don’t let him go, if you keep kissing him, he’ll have to shut up. You don’t have to let him do this thing none of you want. He wouldn’t fight you.

You drop him. He doesn’t look at you, like he doesn’t know or doesn’t care that you almost didn’t. Oh, you _hate_ him. You hate that you have to care about things like this, because he won’t.

You hate that you’re crying.

You hate that he’s not.

Even if Equius won’t look you in your face and see your tears, Sollux will, and it makes him even more furious. Now he’s the one pulling Equius close, slamming him into a wall and hovering over him.

“Does this make you _happy_?” he snarls.

Equius doesn’t respond, doesn’t look at him. It’s like you and Sollux aren’t even there. Sollux, though, forces Equius’s head toward him, where he can at least pretend he’s paying attention. “Would it make you feel better, you worthless piece of shit, to have no one care about you? Is that what you want out of life? _Is it_? Do you get off on it harder if I maim you platonically? Is that what’s going on here, you sick freak? Is this just a kinky sex game to you, fuck with us so we hurt you more? Is that what you want?” You can see Equius wanting to respond, wanting to surrender. You can also see him _not_ surrendering. But he’s going to, you know it. You’re sure. Almost sure. In a minute, he will.

Of course, that’s when Karkat comes up to the flipped door, looks into the room, and turns right back around, shouting, “What the shiteating **fuck** , do you for some reason think that that’s the best possible use of your time?” This is somehow not nearly as surprising to you as it should be, considering you don’t know the future anymore.

“You owe me three bottles of nutritionblock thinkpan cleanser,” Karkat continues, “ **each** , and that’s after you quit whatever the fuck you were doing – don’t you dare fucking tell me – and get down the bulgemunching stairs, if not to prevent me tearing your entire fucking hormone production glands out with my bare hands, then through a sudden and unforeseeable attack of **remembering what the fuck we came all the way out here to deal with**.”

Sollux looks away from Equius; you don’t, though, so you see him relax, shutting his eyes and biting his lip bloodier than it was. “FF is here?”

“Along with her prince in shining shitty cape, so you might want to get your collective gluteal resting surfaces down there, and this time I specifically mean you, Equius. They’ve been here all of five fucking minutes and Eridan and Vriska are already fluffing themselves up like a pair of hideous birds doing a mating display, only instead of mating they’re competing for the honor of who can be the most terminally obnoxious to the most people in the shortest amount of time, an honor which is in fact the opposite of mating, since it will be won when they end up driving each other shithive maggots and start trying to claw each other’s ocular sockets open in what they mistakenly believe is a sensual manner, leading to a net negative quantity of mating and also way more fucking drama than I am prepared to deal with.”

You don’t listen to most of what Karkat’s saying. It doesn’t have much to do with you, anyway. Instead, you watch Equius straighten up like nothing has happened at all. He’s not very good at it. He’s still better than you want him to be. By the time he leaves the hive, he’ll have knocked himself back into an ordinary everyday shape that doesn’t scream his guilt to the world.

You ignore all three of them and float back out the window. It feels like running, but you’d rather run than stay and watch him wipe you away again.


End file.
